NAPIER COUNCIL'S POTHOLE APP HITS NEW LOW WITH 'WE FEEL YOUR PAIN!'
*Navigating Taradale's crater-laden roads just became an emotional journey.*
Potholes in Taradale have reached such epic proportions that locals are dubbing them 'Napier's new wine country' — they certainly have the depth of flavour! Barista Jenna from the local café is convinced that these gaping holes double as swimming pools for the odd bird, because, let’s face it, anything’s possible in a town that was rebuilt after a quake with as much flair as our art deco heritage offers.
Residents are now wondering if the council might as well just ditch the app and get a few council members to take a stroll around the block. Maybe they'd finally realise that it's not just the potholes causing the pain, but the fact that every time someone steps into one while clutching a new bottle of wine, it's like they’re betting their ankle on a game of chance!
Meanwhile, the Hastings Council is having a good laugh, probably sipping their own overpriced wine, while we here in Napier valiantly carry on like a pack of muppets. Is there any chance our dear council will take actual action, or will we be left with nothing but auto-replies as we navigate this lovely East Coast paradise? Fingers crossed that somewhere in the lovely depths of council bureaucracy, someone might just wake up! Or at the very least, stop the bloody app from trying to empathise with us in our time of need.
Reader Letters
Trevor McLeod
I reckon the council should just grab a shovel and start making some art down there instead! Let’s face it, a few strategically placed potholes might just make for a unique tourist attraction.
Wayne Patterson
Honestly, this app nonsense is just another way for them to dodge real responsibility. Next thing you know, they'll be sending us a digital high-five instead of fixing the roads!
Linda Chen
I had a chuckle at the 'we feel your pain' line, but I do wish they'd listen to the locals instead of sending out automated messages. I could literally drown in one of those potholes and they'd still send me a sympathy emoji!
Sharon Ngatai
As if we need more reminders of our inadequate roads! Maybe they should use the money spent on the app to just fill in a couple of those gaping holes instead? Just a thought!
Janice Walsh
I don't know, maybe the pothole app is just a clever way to keep us entertained while we dodge disaster! But for crying out loud, let's hope they get their act together before my car needs a lifeboat!