BROCCOLI POINTS SCANDAL SENDS MT EDEN SHOPPERS INTO A TIZZY!
Loyalty card holders are demanding answers over dubious vegetable points allocation.
A quick poll among the shoppers revealed a split in loyalty card loyalty. Some claimed the spinach points were being prioritised, while others just wanted a refund on their vat of hummus they'd purchased out of sheer loyalty desperation. ‘It’s just a piss-take now,’ huffed another customer, visibly quaking with rage over missing out on what could have been two extra points for his broccoli trees! Unbelievable!
Amid shouts for the manager, it seemed no one was spared, not even the self-checkout machines which blinked accusatory lights as if they were judging the patrons. A source from inside the store described the atmosphere as “electric” but also slightly humid, noting that people were rattled enough to risk running late for the dreaded afternoon traffic heading back to the North Shore. You know how bad that gets!
In the wake of this vegetable fiasco, Mt Eden now stands divided. Will shoppers unite and pursue a class-action complaint over their missing points, or will they just resort to buying more broccoli elsewhere? Spoiler: Keep your eyes on the barista at the local café; the whispers there are juicier than a ripe tomato.
Reader Letters
Wayne Patterson
Ah, the good old New World chaos! Every time they introduce one of these schemes, it's like watching a soap opera unfold in real time. I just hope they don't try this broccoli thing over at Countdown, or we'll have all-out war on our hands!
Janice Walsh
I can't believe people are losing it over some points! Honestly, if we put this much energy into community issues, Mt Eden would be the envy of Auckland. Priorities, people!
Trevor McLeod
Wayne, you know they'll pull this kind of stunt at Countdown next. It's a conspiracy by Big Broccoli! It's just a shame we've lost sight of the real issue here: the outrageous price of kumara. Swindle after swindle.
Linda Chen
I got my broccoli points just fine, but I had to sweet-talk the self-checkout into behaving. Maybe the real treasure is the small talk you have to perfect when convincing machines to be kind to you. Or was it the irony of queuing for a bonus on vegetables?
Sharon Ngatai
Isn't missing out on vegetable points just part of life's rich tapestry? At this rate, loyalty schemes are less about discounts and more about psychological endurance training! And yes, afternoon traffic woes are the real horror show here.