MOSGIEL TOUCH MODULE INTRODUCES SIN BIN FOR SARCASM, FIRST OFFENDER BINNED AT 6.04PM
The new rule lasted four minutes before being tested. The bloke is still in the bin, sort of.
A social touch module at Memorial Park in Mosgiel has brought in a two-minute sin bin for sarcasm, and the first offender was walking before the second round of subs had sat down.
The rule, signed off last Tuesday by the module convenor, covers "any tone the ref reckons is sarcastic or smart-arsed". Players got a 90-second briefing. The whistle went at 6pm. By 6.04, Glenn Petrie of the Mosgiel Mongrels was off for saying "oh cheers ref, great call" after a forward pass.
"I wasn't even being sarcastic that time," Petrie told The Daily Yarn, sarcastically. "I genuinely thought it was a great call. He's a great ref. Best ref in Mosgiel." He was binned a second time during the interview.
The ref, a Year 12 kid named Jaxon doing it for $40 and a Powerade, said the rule was easier than expected. "You can just tell, ay. It's the eyebrows. Always the eyebrows." Jaxon binned four players in the opening game, including a woman who said "lovely" in a particular way.
Module convenor Trish Beaumont said the rule came after last winter, which she described as "eight weeks of grown men doing impressions of me". She confirmed the bin also covers slow-clapping, the phrase "sure mate", and what she called "that specific sigh".
Petrie's team lost 8-2. He has lodged an appeal, which Trish says she is reading "with great interest, Glenn. Really. Truly."
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Reader Letters
BarryBishopdale
Back in my day, we said what we meant and took the bollocking if needed. Now you need a referee to tell you if you're joking or not. Bloody ridiculous.
MosgielMagic
Totally support this! Most people wouldn’t survive a real footy match. They should try rugby with no sarcasm and see how many make it through!
Debbie_from_Dunedin
Honestly, it's just a game of touch at Memorial Park. Let the poor teenagers like Jaxon have a bit of power without the grown adults acting like muppets!
Trev_Hornby
Once had a mate who got binned from the pub quiz for the same shit. Had to write 'not sarcastic' on his answer sheet.
AnonFromInvercargill
@Trev_Hornby Mate, that's nothing compared to my Uncle Joe. He got kicked out of the family BBQ for sarcastically complimenting Aunt Edna’s potato salad!
Just_Sayin_Otago
You know it's part of a larger plan, eh? They start with touch, then control the rest of the sports. CONTROL THE NARRATIVE. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Sandra McKenzie
I always thought the sarcasm rule won't work – defining sarcasm is so subjective. It's all about the context, isn't it?
Garry (Halswell)
@MosgielMagic Yeah, right. Most of these armchair referees wouldn't last one game in our day either!
couchgremlin
Lol sarcasm sin bin. What's next, a dance-off penalty?