Canterbury Legend Tows Mattress, Pallet in Wild Jimny Combo
ORY764 last seen leaving Prestons Road at 40km/h with a queen-sized Sleepyhead doing the limbo.
The rig — plate ORY764, jimny.co.nz decal on the back — was photographed in a gravel driveway off one of the lifestyle blocks. The mattress was on the bottom. The pallet was on top. Neither appeared tied down with anything a reasonable person would call rope.
Driver Hayden Brell, 34, told The Daily Yarn the load was "sweet as" and he'd done the same trip twice already. "Pallet's there to stop the mattress flapping, eh. Physics. You wouldn't get it." Asked about the bungys, Hayden said they were "more decorative than structural" and the real work was being done by "vibes and a ratchet strap me old man lent us in 2019".
Neighbour Cheryl Mauger, watching from her deck with a cold one, said Hayden had been "at this caper since lunchtime". "First go the mattress slid off at the cattle stop. Second go the pallet did. Third go he put the pallet on top of the mattress and reckoned he'd cracked it. Good cunt, but Christ."
A Waka Kotahi spokesperson, asked whether the load was legal, said they "would prefer not to comment on specific vehicles". Pressed on whether a pallet counts as securing a mattress, they went quiet for a long time and then said "look".
Hayden was last seen heading toward Prestons Road at 40km/h. The mattress was breathing in the nor'wester. The pallet, as of filing, was still on top!!
Reader Letters
Linda Chen
Only in Christchurch would someone think a pallet is a clever weight for a mattress on a moving vehicle! This is why we need stricter road safety regulations. Hayden needs to use actual straps.
Wayne Patterson
Can’t blame the guy for trying to make do with what he's got. Not everyone has a fleet of trailers ready to go! But still, a mattress is supposed to go IN a vehicle, not under a pallet.
Barry
Linda reckons we need stricter road safety regs — right, Linda, because more bloody rules always solve everything, don't they? Look, Wayne's got the right idea: use what you've got. And Sharon, bungys are practically currency around here! Mate, this is just everyday life in New Zealand. I bet in Australia they'd call this bloke a hero! The real problem, Trevor, isn't the potholes — it's the bloody price of mattresses! Back in my day, you'd just sleep on a roll of hay and call it a night.
Sharon Ngatai
This is classic Kiwi ingenuity, if you ask me. A little bit dodgy, sure, but who doesn’t love a classic Christchurch DIY spirit? Just needs a bit more bungy, maybe.
Trevor McLeod
I love a good Marshlands saga! Sounds like Hayden should audition for the next Mythbusters episode. Hope the 'vibes and ratchet' strategy applies to the council fixing the potholes soon!