Canterbury Legend Tows Mattress, Pallet in Wild Jimny Combo
ORY764 last seen leaving Prestons Road at 40km/h with a queen-sized Sleepyhead doing the limbo.
A Marshlands man has been spotted towing a mattress with a wooden pallet stacked on top of it behind a red Suzuki Jimny. One neighbour called it "the most Marshlands fucking thing I've seen all week".
The rig — plate ORY764, jimny.co.nz decal on the back — was photographed in a gravel driveway off one of the lifestyle blocks. The mattress was on the bottom. The pallet was on top. Neither appeared tied down with anything a reasonable person would call rope.
Driver Hayden Brell, 34, told The Daily Yarn the load was "sweet as" and he'd done the same trip twice already. "Pallet's there to stop the mattress flapping, eh. Physics. You wouldn't get it." Asked about the bungys, Hayden said they were "more decorative than structural" and the real work was being done by "vibes and a ratchet strap me old man lent us in 2019".
Neighbour Cheryl Mauger, watching from her deck with a cold one, said Hayden had been "at this caper since lunchtime". "First go the mattress slid off at the cattle stop. Second go the pallet did. Third go he put the pallet on top of the mattress and reckoned he'd cracked it. Good cunt, but Christ."
A Waka Kotahi spokesperson, asked whether the load was legal, said they "would prefer not to comment on specific vehicles". Pressed on whether a pallet counts as securing a mattress, they went quiet for a long time and then said "look".
Hayden was last seen heading toward Prestons Road at 40km/h. The mattress was breathing in the nor'wester. The pallet, as of filing, was still on top!!
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, if you wanted to move something as dodgy as that, you'd just strap it to your bike and pray a cop didn't spot you. This generation thinks they can do anything with a Jimny.
BarryBishopdale
Honestly, more power to him. If the council can take six months to patch a pothole, at least Hayden's getting something done with some ingenuity.
Margaret_F
Reminds me of when Gerald tried moving his old fridge in '06. He didn't strap it down either and ended up with ice cream on the motorway.
wayward_engineer
Physics!? Mate, talk to me when you actually understand Torque and Load Dist. Seems more like an experiment in pure luck.
CherylM89
I was actually there for one of those runs. Bloody hilarious. Hayden's always up to something, keeps the neighbourhood entertained.