Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Community Quirks

Keen-eyed kiwis demand solitude; Reefton's dogs not welcome

The kiwi, it seems, are not taking visitors. Particularly not the four-legged kind with opinions.

Keen-eyed kiwis demand solitude; Reefton's dogs not welcome
Photo from the scene

A short stretch of bush track on the outskirts of Reefton has been declared a strictly dog-free zone, with two separate signs going to some lengths to make the point. One is yellow. One is red. Both say no dogs. Neither is mucking about.

The signage, which informs walkers that 'Kiwi live here', has been in place for some time, though local walker Moira Trelawney, 71, said she still saw the occasional border collie sneaking past on a slack lead. 'People read the sign, look at the dog, and decide the sign means other dogs,' she said. 'It does not mean other dogs. It means their dog.'

A Department of Conservation spokesperson confirmed the signs were 'quite literal' and that the kiwi population in the area was 'doing nicely, thank you, provided nobody brings a labrador through'. Asked whether the signs could be made any clearer, the spokesperson said they had considered a third sign but worried it would 'start to look like nagging'.

Reefton local Trevor Eames said he remembered when you could walk a dog anywhere in the bush and nobody said a word. 'Mind you, that was 1974,' he conceded. 'Different bush. Different dog. Different kiwi, come to think of it.'

The signs remain in place. The kiwi remain unseen, which is, by all accounts, the entire point.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Reader Letters

Garry (Halswell)

Back in my day, dogs and kiwi got along just fine. Nobody needed a yellow sign to tell them how to keep out of trouble. Now it's all 'no this' and 'no that'. Bloody ridiculous if you ask me.

ropeable_dave

mate that's not what they said

comedy_barry

At this rate, we'll need a sign telling people not to bring their pet armadillos and flatmates. Geoff's got a flat kid's scooter. Should we ban that too?

time_warp_victor

Let's just blame everything on 1974. Different dogs, different kiwi. Different weather too, mate.

tired_in_riccarton

Why can't people just follow the bloody signs? It's not that hard.

Freelancer_Joe

We've got too many rules for signs and none for good common sense. Let's be honest.

couchgremlin

Lol

Nature_Nell

The kiwi aren't about to have a flat, they're just demanding a bit of peace. Let them be!

sensible_sis

No, Trevor. Different bush, same rules. People have always needed directions or we'd all be walking our munted pets through kiwi habitats.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one every morning.

SATIRE — Everything on this site is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.