HILLMORTON GNOME VANISHES OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOURLY POST YIELDS 47 THEORIES AND ZERO GNOMES
One suggested the gnome 'walked off of his own accord'. Another blamed the nor'wester. Nobody blamed the actual suspect, which was almost certainly a teenager.
Community Quirks
Odd local heroes, lost cats, and the kind of story that only makes sense in one town.
MELVILLE GNOME VANISHES OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOURLY THREAD HITS 147 REPLIES AND ZERO LEADS
Owner says the gnome, Reginald, had been on the front lawn since 2009. Theories include a possum, a magpie, and the bloke from number 42.
Local Cows Unimpressed With Bizarre Beef-on-Beef Diet Proposal
The paddock has gone quiet. The committee is meeting behind the trough.
Te Aro's Margaret Whitcombe Takes on NZTA in Diagram Dispute
The diagram shows a red car doing the right thing. One Te Aro pensioner has thirteen objections.
CASHMERE CAFÉ PIGEON REFUSES TIPS, ACCEPTS ONLY CRUMBS
Regulars say the bird has been there longer than two of the baristas.
Sumner Hill Car-Push: A Breakfast Workout for Local Officers
Witness reckons one officer was eating a muesli bar. Could not confirm flavour.
Keen-eyed kiwis demand solitude; Reefton's dogs not welcome
The kiwi, it seems, are not taking visitors. Particularly not the four-legged kind with opinions.
FLAT BUSH MAN HOLDS PRESS CONFERENCE FOR LOST JANDAL — JANDAL ATTENDS
Six weeks apart. Twelve minutes of prepared remarks. One chewed left foot.
STOKE COMMUNITY GARDEN AT WAR OVER KALE — HALF RECKON IT'S A PRANK
Three raised beds in, no one will admit to planting it, and Beryl's threatening to pull the lot.
GREEN ISLAND PARADE STALLED 40 MINUTES AFTER ATTENDEE ARRIVES WITH GOAT FOR "ATMOSPHERE"
The goat had no permit, no lead long enough, and no interest in the brass band.
ATAWHAI LIBRARY FINE DEBATE TURNS UGLY, RETIREE BLAMES COUNCIL AND PRICE OF BUTTER
Heather has THOUGHTS and she is not afraid to share them
FRANKTON NOTICEBOARD LEAF-BLOWER FEUD ENTERS WEEK SIX, NEW LAMINATED REPLY APPEARS OVERNIGHT
Six A4 pages. Two highlighter colours. One corkboard near collapse.
TE ANAU SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT HAPPEN
The scarecrow has a rosette. There was no ceremony. Nobody knows who did it.
Jogger in Cashmere stirs online frenzy with unexpected route artwork
The route, three kilometres of poor decisions, has been described by the runner as 'a sunset loop'. It is not.
ROYAL COMMISSION OF INQUIRY INTO WANAKA MAYORAL CAT FINDS IRREGULARITIES, ALSO A NICE GINGER BOY
After 14 months and $2.3 million in fees, the Commission has determined the cat is, on the balance of probabilities, a cat.
PORT CHALMERS DUCKLING INFLUENCER ISSUES TEARFUL APOLOGY FOR CROSSING ROAD WITHOUT 'DOING THE WORK'
Local mallard Brenda goes live from a George Street puddle to address 'the community' after a pedestrian crossing incident.
Parnell Pensioner Decries Whale Mural as 'A Bit Much'
Strongly-worded letter cites 'aquatic overreach' and the late Mr Pemberton's blood pressure.
Kiwi humour mishap: Browns Bay delivery van's awkward sign blunder
New World's delivery message prompts laughter over intended practicality.
Takapuna Schnauzer Leaves Rug in Dust During Epic Nap Battle
Owner says dog's a "real killer" despite snooze-heavy tactics.
Te Awamutu Abuzz with 'King of Pop' Pharmacy Sighting
Pharmacy's beauty aisle host to a wave and a whisper of mystery and moisturiser.