PIRIMAI FACEBOOK GROUP ELECTS TABBY CAT UNOFFICIAL MAYOR, ACTUAL MAYOR NOT YET INFORMED
The cat got 847 votes. The nearest human candidate got a laughing emoji and a comment about the roundabout.
Community Quirks
Odd local heroes, lost cats, and the kind of story that only makes sense in one town.
ENDERLEY LIBRARY MEETING ON OVERDUE FINES DESCENDS INTO 40-MINUTE ARGUMENT ABOUT DIGNITY
A community consultation about $2.40 turned into a philosophical inquiry no-one asked for.
MACANDREW BAY DOG ATTENDS MORE COMMITTEE MEETINGS THAN HIS OWNER, MINUTES CONFIRM
Barnaby the labrador has sat through four meetings this year. His owner has managed one, and left early.
JUDEA MAN'S DAILY WALK NOW HAS A SHRINE, HE'S NOT KEEN
It was a Tuesday morning in Judea. The suspect laced up his shoes. He did not know about the candles.
Te Aro Flat's Ancient Meters Still Ticking, Landlord Unfazed
Ferranti-brand units from Hollinwood, England, have been ticking over in a Cuba Street cupboard since before decimal currency.
KARORI SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN
The sash is real. The ceremony was not. Nobody can explain the certificate.
MARTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING THE FLOOR
The downward dogs are down. The bingo callers are ropeable. Nobody's leaving.
OUTER KAITI COMMUNITY GARDEN SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE OVER WHETHER KALE IS A PRANK
Half the plot reckons it's a vegetable. The other half reckons someone's having a lend.
HOKITIKA MAILBOX REDECORATED DAILY FOR SIX WEEKS — COUNCIL WON'T SAY IF IT'S ART OR A THREAT
Tuesday it was shells. Wednesday it was tinfoil. Nobody has seen anyone doing it.
WOOLSTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKS YOGA AND BINGO — INSTRUCTOR NOW APOLOGISING ON YOUTUBE
Sharon witnessed downward dog collide with two fat ladies. Someone had to answer for it. That someone made a video.
INGLEWOOD SCARECROW TAKES OUT BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT OCCUR
The scarecrow, known locally as Trevor, was unavailable for comment on account of being made of hay.
ROSLYN KARAOKE NIGHT BANNED AFTER POWER BALLAD INCIDENT
The organiser won't say which song. Regulars won't stop saying which song.
BETHLEHEM COMMUNITY HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING FLOOR SPACE
The downward dogs are downward. The B7s are being called. Nobody is leaving.
CARTERTON DUCK USES PEDESTRIAN CROSSING CORRECTLY, HUMANS TAKE NOTES
The duck looked both ways. The Hilux behind it did not.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS NAPIER SOUTH 'FOUND OBJECT MUSEUM' IS ONE HUBCAP AND A STORY
Terms of reference expanded twice. The hubcap remains the sole exhibit.
KENSINGTON NOTICEBOARD LEAF BLOWER FEUD HITS WEEK SIX, NEIGHBOURS NOW ONLY TALKING VIA A3
What started as a note about morning noise is now, in this reporter's view, a matter for the Ombudsman.
MATANGI MAILBOX GETS FRESH DECORATION EVERY MORNING, COUNCIL CAN'T DECIDE IF IT'S ART OR A THREAT
Day 34: a plastic frog holding a teaspoon. Day 35: the teaspoon is gone. The frog looks worried.
MOUNT WELLINGTON WOMAN FINDS ONE SOCK, STARTS SUPPORT GROUP FOR OTHERS IN SAME BOAT
First meeting Thursday at the community hall. BYO orphan sock and a plate.
LINWOOD SCARECROW WINS BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT NEVER HAPPENED
The sash is real. The ceremony is not. Gavin is tied to a stake and cannot confirm either way.
HILLMORTON GNOME VANISHES OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOURLY POST YIELDS 47 THEORIES AND ZERO GNOMES
One suggested the gnome 'walked off of his own accord'. Another blamed the nor'wester. Nobody blamed the actual suspect, which was almost certainly a teenager.