LINWOOD SCARECROW NAMED BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN
The scarecrow is wearing a sash. Nobody can account for the sash.
A scarecrow stationed in a Linwood front yard has reportedly won Best Dressed at an awards ceremony that, according to every party contacted, did not take place.
The scarecrow — known locally as Murray — appeared on Tuesday morning wearing a navy blazer, a paisley tie, and a satin sash reading BEST DRESSED 2024. Owner Denise Halligan, who put Murray up to scare the blackbirds off her silverbeet, said she had nothing to do with it. "I went to bed and he was in a checked shirt. Woke up and he's dressed like he's off to a wedding. I haven't owned a paisley tie since Gerald's brother's 50th."
Neighbour Pauline from two doors down said she'd seen "a couple of younger ones" on the footpath around 11pm but assumed they were heading to the dairy. "They were carrying a coat hanger. I didn't think much of it at the time. In hindsight, the coat hanger was a clue!"
The Linwood Residents' Association confirmed it had not held an awards night, was not planning one, and had "no budget for sashes regardless". A spokesperson added that if there had been an awards night, Murray would not have been eligible as he is not a ratepayer.
Denise has decided to leave the outfit on for the time being. "He looks quite smart, eh. The blackbirds have buggered off and the postie gave him a nod this morning. I'll take it."
The sash, on closer inspection, appears to have been cut from a Briscoes tablecloth.
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Things like this wouldn't have happened in my day. Back then, you couldn't find a paisley tie if you tried, and scarecrows knew their place in the garden.
MumOf3_Chch
Honestly, bless those kids for having a bit of fun. Better this than them winding up the dairy owner again. My son got caught sneaking out with the 'Chicken of the Year' sign from school.
pedantic_peter
Technically, a scarecrow can't win Best Dressed without an official awards night. Plus, ‘Best Dressed 2024’ is a nominative title that requires formality.
GardenGnome
Lol. We've got a gnome in our garden with a full tuxedo made out of tea towels. Decorated by kids celebrating his 'wedding day'. They're like modern artists, aren't they?