NEWTOWN PIGEON DECLARES CONSTITUENCY AT CONSTANCE STREET CAFÉ, KNOCKS BACK GOLD COIN
Staff say the bird turns up at 7am sharp and has opinions about the muffins.
A pigeon has effectively moved into a Newtown café on Constance Street, clocking in before the barista, refusing all attempts at tipping, and staring down customers who sit at what it apparently considers its table.
Manager Priya Sandhu, 34, said the bird turned up about three weeks ago during a southerly and never properly left. "He's there before we unlock. Sits on the milk crate. Bloody supervisor energy, that one."
A regular, Hemi Rangi, said he tried to slide a fifty-cent piece toward the pigeon on Tuesday as a joke. "He looked at it. Looked at me. Walked off. I've had worse reviews from my father-in-law, but not by much."
The café has named him Brendan, though no-one can remember who started it. Brendan accepts crumbs of the almond croissant only, refuses the date scone outright, and has twice been seen inspecting the EFTPOS machine like he's checking the float.
Wellington City Council, asked whether a pigeon could be considered a staff member for the purposes of the bylaws, said the matter was "not currently before us" and they intended to keep it that way.
Brendan was last seen on Wednesday morning, on the milk crate, watching a tradie eat a pie. The tradie reported feeling judged.
Manager Priya Sandhu, 34, said the bird turned up about three weeks ago during a southerly and never properly left. "He's there before we unlock. Sits on the milk crate. Bloody supervisor energy, that one."
A regular, Hemi Rangi, said he tried to slide a fifty-cent piece toward the pigeon on Tuesday as a joke. "He looked at it. Looked at me. Walked off. I've had worse reviews from my father-in-law, but not by much."
The café has named him Brendan, though no-one can remember who started it. Brendan accepts crumbs of the almond croissant only, refuses the date scone outright, and has twice been seen inspecting the EFTPOS machine like he's checking the float.
Wellington City Council, asked whether a pigeon could be considered a staff member for the purposes of the bylaws, said the matter was "not currently before us" and they intended to keep it that way.
Brendan was last seen on Wednesday morning, on the milk crate, watching a tradie eat a pie. The tradie reported feeling judged.