BOTANY UTE HOSTS ROOFTOP SAUSAGE SIZZLE, INSPECTOR ARRIVES MID-ONION
The Hilux is loaded, the gas bottle is on, and the building consent is theoretical.
Dave the Tradie
Dave left the tools ten years ago but never left the site banter. He files Tradie Tales from a ute that may or may not pass its WOF.
METSERVICE PROMISES "FINE AND SETTLED" OVER DEVONPORT — ONE CLOUD DIDN'T GET THE MEMO
The forecast said sun. The sky said get stuffed. A single dark cloud is now parked directly over the ferry terminal doing whatever it wants.
HAMILTON EAST UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED THREE TIMES IN ONE HALF — PLANE, COW, JANDAL
A Stuff investigation can reveal the match resumed, then stopped, then resumed, then stopped again.
STOKE COMMUNITY GARDEN AT WAR OVER KALE — HALF RECKON IT'S A PRANK
Three raised beds in, no one will admit to planting it, and Beryl's threatening to pull the lot.
CLAUDELANDS APPRENTICE SENT TO AUCKLAND FOR TARTAN PAINT AND A LONG WEIGHT, FILES VIDEO APOLOGY FROM PANMURE RESENE
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video.
GUYS. I NEED TO ADDRESS THE KARORI HAIL SITUATION
A statement from Dave the Tradie regarding aggressive peas and the work he's doing.
BRIGHTON UNDER-11s SERVED BUDGET MANDARINS AT HALF-TIME — DADS NEARLY KICK OFF
Club president blames "a Pak'nSave situation". Sideline blames the club president.
PAK'NSAVE AWAPUNI TRIALS QUEUE FOR THE QUEUE, BLOKES WITH ONE PIE NOW WAITING 25 MINUTES
Management calls it 'flow optimisation'. The bloke in front of me called it something else.
HAWERA LIBRARY AMNESTY QUIETLY WIPES MAYOR'S $340 DVD TAB
South Taranaki's top brass walks free on three years of overdue Sopranos box sets while everyone else got a stern email.
ROTORUA SCHOOL APP SENDS 47 MUFTI DAY NOTIFICATIONS, PARENTS LEARN GOLD COIN COSTS $2
One dad turned his phone off at notification 31 and missed his actual job. Reckons the app owes him a day's wage.
WELLINGTON COUNCIL TO DEBATE WHETHER HOT CROSS BUNS NEED RESOURCE CONSENT
Three consultants engaged. Bun unavailable for comment.
NELSON COUNCIL SCHEDULES MEETING TO DISCUSS SCHEDULING OF FUTURE MEETINGS
Ratepayers told the agenda for the agenda meeting will be circulated at a later agenda meeting.
Giant Nike Ball Smashes Ashburton Convertible in Fashion Fail
Enormous rogue ball brings new definition to 'car boot sale' on main street.
GLADSTONE LABRADOR ATTENDS MORE COMMITTEE MEETINGS THAN HIS OWNER, NOW ON THREE SUB-COMMITTEES
Murray the dog has a better attendance record than half the council. His owner hasn't shown since June.
BISHOPDALE SPARKY LABELS EVERY SWITCH "MAYBE" AND PISSES OFF TO RANGIORA
Homeowner now flicks switches like she's playing pokies.
ONERAHI WOMAN RINGS 111 OVER COURIER WHO SAID 'CHEERS, HAVE A LOVELY DAY'
Suspicions raised when the bloke also wiped his boots before putting the parcel down.
ISLAND BAY MUM ENTERS PTA MEETING AT 6PM, STILL THERE AT MIDNIGHT WITH THERMOS HALF-FULL
The agenda had four items. She has tabled eleven.
ISLAND BAY UNDER-11 FOOTY BBQ SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES STORY TIME
Twenty-two toddlers ushered onto The Parade clutching picture books. Coach Brent reckons the snarlers were 'just getting going'.
ROSLYN BLOKE HOSES DRY DRIVEWAY DURING HOSE BAN, CITES "MORALE"
Council says no. The driveway has never looked cleaner.
ROSLYN PUB PULLS PLUG ON KARAOKE AFTER POWER BALLAD 'INCIDENT'
Nobody's saying which song. Everyone knows which song.