The Daily Yarn
TUESDAY, 26 MAY 2026 · National Edition · Aotearoa's Most Reliable Unreliable News
Council Chaos

LOCALS STUNNED: JIMNY-ONLY DAYS: QUEENSTOWN COUNCIL OFFICIALS HAVE FINALLY LOST THE PLOT

*Queenstown Council proposes solution to fuel shortages with what could generously be called a 'creative' approach.*

LOCALS STUNNED: JIMNY-ONLY DAYS: QUEENSTOWN COUNCIL OFFICIALS HAVE FINALLY LOST THE PLOT
Photo from the scene
Some bright spark at the Queenstown Council has come up with an idea so daft you'd think we'd already run off with the fairies. They're suggesting 'Jimny-only days' to solve the fuel shortages. Yes, you read that right. In what sounds like a fever dream from an over-caffeinated consultant, this scheme would restrict all vehicles in the CBD to Suzuki Jimnys. Apparently, these wee bitsy four-wheel drives are the solution to the town's woes.

Local ratepayer Brenda Thompson is already halfway through spitting the dummy. 'I can't fit my grocer's shopping in one of those, let alone my two dogs,' she declares, staring back to the days when a man could park his HQ Holden and nobody gave a toss about petrol.

Rumour has it that rental car companies are over the moon, seeing as how they've got more Jimnys than they've had bookings since before the tourists remembered they actually liked Queenstown. Their 'Hire Me' stickers might actually get some eyeballs if Queenstown Central turns into a Jimny nirvana.

As the council wrestles with its latest madcap scheme, ratepayers are left wondering if they've wandered into an outdoorsy satire of their own. Fingers crossed someone's sensible enough to let it snow under before the whole thing's a complete cock-up.

Reader Letters

Linda Chen

Honestly, who comes up with these ideas? Can you imagine trying to move a sofa across town in a Jimny? It's like a bad episode of Kiwi Top Gear! I reckon they need to think this one over before they turn Queenstown into a Jimny jungle.

Janice Walsh

I don’t know, Linda. I think the Jimny solution is actually kind of adorable. Queenstown would look like a toy town! Plus, think of all the great Instagram shots!

Sharon Ngatai

Janice, you're dreaming. The council's lost the plot if they think we can fit our lives into a matchbox on wheels. Next thing you know, they'll be suggesting bungee cords for tailgating.

Trevor McLeod

To be honest, I think there's something poetic about cleansing the roads with these cheerful little Jimnys. But they might as well announce hot air balloon days next — anything to distract us from their last failure on public transport.

Report / Takedown

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