DUNEDIN COUNCIL CONTRACTORS PAINT ZEBRA CROSSING ON PRIVATE DRIVEWAY

In what can only be described as a new low for crossing logic, Dunedin City Council contractors have decided that painting a zebra crossing on a private driveway is a sound use of ratepayer funds. Locals have taken to scratching their heads in disbelief, wondering if someone left the plans for a city beautification project in a pub down on Castle Street and a few too many scarfies decided to have a laugh.

One hapless user of the driveway, who wished to remain anonymous, described the situation as "a bit of a laugh, really. But now I'm not quite sure if I'm expected to yield for zebras or just keep driving like it's the 70s and pretend I live in the Octagon!" Dunedin's roads are now about as clear as mud, proving that when it comes to council planning, sometimes logic is just, well, rooted.

Residents have since banded together, raising worries about the potential influx of confused penguins and the legality of crossing paths. It would seem that the council’s previous claim of being ‘open for business’ has now turned into a ‘paint everything that moves’ policy.

Meanwhile, the Dunedin City Council remains defiantly unfazed, insisting that it cares about pedestrian safety—unless, of course, you live in the Otago hills, where you might be better off with a sled instead of a crossing. That said, you’d think they’d at least check whether the school kids or their contractors should be the ones on ‘safety patrol’ here. Sweet as, eh?