CLICK-AND-COLLECT: A GRAPE SIZED INJUSTICE

Well, there we were, minding our own business, when a Newtown resident walked out of their local Pak'nSave with a click-and-collect order that left everyone scratching their heads. Instead of a week’s worth of groceries, they’d received a solitary grape nestled in a box more suitable for a small television. "I thought I’d ordered potatoes and a couple of kiwis, not this bloody $2 fruit," grumbled the poor sod, who wasn't even sure how to fit the box in their tiny flat on Riddiford Street.

Constable Pearce, always on the pulse of local happenings, noted that retail click-and-collect crises are becoming a weekly farce. “Last week, my mate at the station ordered some DIY gear from Bunnings and ended up with a single screw in a massive flat-pack. Why bother with the technology if it’s just going to give you a piss-take of an order?” he quipped.

Residents are calling for Wellington retailers to fix their computerised systems before they end up with a box of cabbage and nothing else. Meanwhile, local waiters on Cuba Street are saying it reflects the general malaise of the retail industry: “If I wanted to buy grapes, I’d just roll down to the corner store and avoid the stress.” As windy as Wellington is, nothing seems to blow as cold as click-and-collect service these days.

So here's the question: will this hiccup prompt change, or should we all just embrace the absurdity and carry on like a pork chop as we huddle in our homes made tiny by unwanted packaging? Only time, and perhaps the next grape order, will tell.