Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Retail Ruckus

MT EDEN WOMAN HOLDS UP NEW WORLD QUEUE FOR 22 MINUTES OVER MISSING BROCCOLI POINTS

Clubcard says 40. Receipt says 10. Nobody is leaving until this is resolved.

A loyalty card dispute over a broccoli bonus has shut down checkout four at the Mt Eden New World for the better part of half an hour, with the customer refusing to move her trolley until the points are credited.

Claire Donnellan, 58, of Mt Eden Road, said the in-store signage had clearly advertised 40 bonus Clubcard Dollars points on broccoli for the week. Her receipt showed ten. "I'm not mad," she told The Daily Yarn, while clearly being mad. "I just want what the sign said. The sign is a contract. That's how signs work."

A woman third in the queue, who gave her name as Pip, said she'd been there since the dispute began and had now finished a flat white she bought from the cafe next door before joining. "I came in for milk. I'm now invested. I want her to win."

The duty manager, summoned twice, explained the bonus applied only to loose broccoli, not the pre-bagged twin-pack Donnellan had purchased. Donnellan pointed out the sign did not specify this. The duty manager pointed out the sign did, in 6-point font at the bottom. A standoff ensued.

A Foodstuffs spokesperson said the promotion was "operating as designed" and customers were encouraged to "read terms in full". Asked whether the 6-point font was legible to a 58-year-old without her reading glasses in the car, the spokesperson did not respond.

As of filing, Donnellan had been credited the 30 points as a goodwill gesture and left the store. The twin-pack of broccoli remains at the checkout. Staff are not sure who it belongs to now.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Reader Letters

Garry (Halswell)

Back in my day, you just trusted the local greengrocer and didn't need fancy points for bloody broccoli. Simpler times.

OldSchoolSam

@Garry (Halswell) Agreed, mate. You picked what looked good that day. Now it's all about 'points' and apps. Where's the joy in that?

BertiePointless

Well, if the sign's a contract then I'm the King of England! Absolute nonsense. 6-point font! Ever since these supermarkets stopped being locally owned, it's all gone downhill.

SympatheticSue

I feel for Claire. I've been at that New World. It's packed every time I go. Tensions fly high, especially when all you want is a peaceful grocery shop!

MoiraInED

@SympatheticSue Totally, and they never have enough checkouts open either. Seriously frustrating when you just want to nip in and out.

CorrectMeIfImWrong

Actually, it's spelled 'Clubcard'. They mentioned 'Club Card' but that's incorrect branding.

LolzFanatic

Lol, imagine getting that worked up over broccoli points. Get a life, people!

MirandaWithAnOpinion

This is why I prefer small markets. You know what you’re getting and no Clubcard nonsense.

PipTheMilkLady

No one mentioned the actual travesty here - I left without the milk! Great people-watching, though. Almost worth it.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one every morning.

SATIRE — Everything on this site is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.