NGARUAWAHIA MUM'S DRIVEWAY CHALK DRAWING SLAPPED WITH 'UNLICENSED ROAD ART' COMPLAINT
The road in question is a driveway. The art in question is a rainbow.
Vince Tipene
Covers student flats, regional pride, and the cold with gentle pointed absurdity.
HILLMORTON GNOME VANISHES OVERNIGHT, NEIGHBOURLY POST YIELDS 47 THEORIES AND ZERO GNOMES
One suggested the gnome 'walked off of his own accord'. Another blamed the nor'wester. Nobody blamed the actual suspect, which was almost certainly a teenager.
CHURTON PARK WOMAN'S PALMY GIFT CARD REFUSED FOR BEING 'TOO FESTIVE' IN AUGUST
A Stuff investigation into a retail policy no one can produce in writing.
SHIRLEY SIDELINE DAD FILMING UNDER-11 SOCCER FOR "THE TRIBUNAL" NOW ON HIS THIRD MEMORY CARD
There is no tribunal. There has never been a tribunal. He's still filming.
Local Cows Unimpressed With Bizarre Beef-on-Beef Diet Proposal
The paddock has gone quiet. The committee is meeting behind the trough.
CASHMERE CAFÉ PIGEON REFUSES TIPS, ACCEPTS ONLY CRUMBS
Regulars say the bird has been there longer than two of the baristas.
METSERVICE PROMISES FINE DAY IN DEVONPORT, ONE CLOUD DISAGREES
The forecast said sunny. The cloud said no.
PAPAMOA SUNBURN VICTIM BLAMES "SNEAKY" SEPTEMBER SUN, NOT THE FOUR-HOUR NAP ON THE BEACH
Bloke from Milson went on holiday up north. Came back the colour of a stop sign.
FEATHERSTON PTA TREASURER LAUNCHES FORENSIC AUDIT OVER MISSING $3.50
The sausage sizzle reconciliation has entered its fourth week. Nobody is having a nice time.
NORTH DUNEDIN FENCE PAINTED "WRONG SHADE OF GREEN" SPARKS COMMUNITY HALL MEDIATION
Three hours, two retired teachers, one Resene swatch — and still no resolution.
HEI HEI MITRE 10 RETURNS DESK ACCEPTS BARBECUE THAT IS, BY ANY REASONABLE DEFINITION, STILL ON FIRE
Customer says the unit is 'not fit for purpose'. The unit is venting smoke onto the carpet.
LYALL BAY MITRE 10 OUT OF ZIP TIES; HALF THE SUBURB NOW HELD TOGETHER BY HOPE
The hardware run is a Saturday ritual. The ritual has hit a wall.
STOKE NEW WORLD LOYALTY POINTS EXPIRE OVERNIGHT, PENSIONERS FORM ORDERLY BUT FURIOUS LINE
One woman had been saving since 2019 for a ham. The ham is now theoretical.
SPREYDON SCHOOL PICK-UP LANE NOW REQUIRES TWO HI-VIS PARENTS, A WHISTLE AND A CEASEFIRE
The PTA has appointed an unofficial envoy. She drives a Kluger.
KELBURN WHEELIE BIN LID LEFT OPEN OVERNIGHT, STREET WHATSAPP GROUP NOW AT 247 MESSAGES
It was a Tuesday morning on Salamanca Road. Nothing about that day suggested what was about to unfold.
ELTHAM RESIDENTS NOW OFFICIALLY OUTNUMBERED BY ROAD CONES, COUNCIL SHRUGS
South Taranaki District Council says the two-to-one ratio is 'within tolerance', whatever that means.
BISHOPDALE MALL SANTA FLOGGING $89 "PLATINUM" PHOTO PACKAGE TO NANAS WHO JUST WANTED A 4X6
Santa reportedly told one grandmother the basic option was "for poor children".
KARORI MUM LOSES 14,000 CLUBCARD POINTS AT 11.47PM ON A SUNDAY
Mate at the pub reckons his old lady's ham budget just got vaporised. There's a spreadsheet involved.
GREYMOUTH PETITION DEMANDS LEAF BLOWER CEASEFIRE BEFORE 10AM SUNDAYS — ORGANISER OWNS A LEAF BLOWER
It was a Sunday morning on the Coast. The hum began at 7.04am. By 7.06am, a petition had been drafted.
WINTON UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED BY PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL
Three stoppages in twelve minutes. The cow's still out there.