ISLAND BAY WOOLWORTHS SELF-CHECKOUT ASKS CUSTOMER IF SHE'S 'OKAY TO CONTINUE'
The machine froze on a single kūmara. The customer froze on the existential question.
Vince Tipene
Covers student flats, regional pride, and the cold with gentle pointed absurdity.
MT EDEN WOMAN HOLDS UP NEW WORLD QUEUE FOR 22 MINUTES OVER MISSING BROCCOLI POINTS
Clubcard says 40. Receipt says 10. Nobody is leaving until this is resolved.
TAKAPUNA TOUCH MATCH STOPPED BY SIDELINE DAD'S VAPE CLOUD
The dad reckons it was pineapple ice. The ref says she couldn't see the try line.
ONERAHI U-13 REF DOWNS WHISTLE AT 2.55PM, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP, MATE"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Sideline dad still yelling about a forward pass twenty minutes later.
TARADALE ROUNDABOUT RENAMING DEBATE ENTERS THIRD MONTH, FOURTH NOMINEE, FIRST PUNCH-UP
Nobody can agree which local legend deserves it. Everyone agrees it shouldn't be Trev.
METSERVICE INSISTS LINWOOD IS "FINE AND SUNNY" AS RESIDENTS WATCH ICEBERG DRIFT PAST NEW WORLD
The app shows a smiling sun. The wheelie bins are sideways. Something has to give.
GLADSTONE UMBRELLA LASTS SEVEN SECONDS, OWNER BLAMES CLIMATE CHANGE AND ALSO HIS WIFE
The umbrella was new. It is now a sculpture.
HENDERSON PIGEON STATUE MEETING ENDS IN SHOUTING, ONE EVACUATION, ZERO PIGEONS CONSULTED
Auckland Council spent $48,000 on a feasibility report. The pigeons don't know.
BISHOPDALE GRITTED AT DAWN AFTER RESIDENT REPORTS "BIT OF A NIP" IN THE AIR
Tuesday's low of 8.4 degrees prompted full winter response from Christchurch City Council.
COUNTDOWN TROLLEY FOUND IN MOSGIEL, ELEVEN KILOMETRES FROM ANY COUNTDOWN
The trolley has been on a longer journey than most second-year geography students.
NEWMARKET APPRENTICE SPENDS SIX HOURS LOOKING FOR TARTAN PAINT AT THREE DIFFERENT BUNNINGS
The long weight is ongoing. So is the apprenticeship, technically.
TAKAPUNA RENO STRIPS BACK FOUR LAYERS OF WALLPAPER, FINDS 1987 STARING BACK
The hallway is now legally a crime scene against interior design.
HENDERSON GNOME CUSTODY BATTLE ENTERS THIRD WEEK, KEITH REMAINS NEUTRAL
Two families, one fishing rod, one Facebook post that should've been left alone.
HENDERSON COUNTDOWN OUT OF BREAD BY 4PM AFTER FORECAST SAYS THE F-WORD
MetService mentioned frost. West Auckland responded like the power was about to go out for a fortnight.
ROSLYN MAILBOX TAGGED OVERNIGHT, POLICE BLAME 'YOUTHS' AND ONE POSSUM
The possum has not been named but is described as 'a known offender' by two neighbours.
SUMNER HOUSEHOLD GETS THREE COUNCIL LETTERS ABOUT RECYCLING — ALL CONTRADICT EACH OTHER
One says yellow bin Tuesday. One says fortnightly. One says the yellow bin is under review.
BISHOPDALE RATEPAYERS FUND $84,000 REPORT THAT CONCLUDES REPORTS ARE UNDERFUNDED
The report recommends a follow-up report. The follow-up report will cost more than the first one.
SUMNER HUMIDITY DECLARED 'HAIR HAZARD' AFTER THREE INCIDENTS ON THE ESPLANADE
One local's fringe reportedly took out a sunglasses display outside the dairy.
NEWMARKET CROSSING WARDEN RUNS PICKUP LANE LIKE A PRISON YARD, PARENTS QUIETLY OBSESSED
She's stopped a Range Rover with one raised palm. The Range Rover apologised.
KARORI PLAYGROUND SHUT FOR 'ASPIRATIONAL MAINTENANCE', NOBODY AT COUNCIL CAN DEFINE THE WORD
The slide has been wrapped in hazard tape since June. The aspiration, per WCC, is 'ongoing'.