PONSONBY PENSIONER ACCUSED OF SHOPLIFTING BY MACHINE THAT CAN'T TELL A CARROT FROM A PARSNIP

An 82-year-old Ponsonby woman was loudly accused of theft by a Woolworths self-checkout on Tuesday afternoon, after the machine decided her tote bag contained items she had not scanned. The items, on inspection, were her purse, a folded umbrella, and a library copy of a Maeve Binchy.

Eileen Brockett, who has shopped on Richmond Road since 1974 when it was still a Four Square and you got a wink instead of a receipt, said she froze on the spot. "The thing went red. A light started flashing. A young man in a vest came over and asked if I'd like to 'empty my bag for verification'. I said I'd like to sit down, dear."

A second customer in the queue, Hamish Lefoe, said the machine had been "on one" all afternoon. "It accused me of stealing a capsicum earlier. I'd scanned the capsicum. It was right there on the screen. Capsicum."

A Woolworths spokesperson said the self-checkout was "performing within expected parameters" and that the loss-prevention system was "designed to protect all customers, including our senior shoppers". Asked whether accusing an octogenarian of light fingers over a Maeve Binchy counted as protection, the spokesperson said they'd come back to us.

Mrs Brockett left without her onions. She says she'll be walking down to the fruit shop on Williamson Ave from now on, which is what she did in 1974 and which, she notes, never once called her a thief.

The machine is still operational. It accused a child of stealing a banana at 4.15pm.