STOKE 'CLOSING DOWN SALE' ENTERS NINTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR, OWNER NOW LISTING IT AS A FEATURE
The sign was last replaced in 2021, when the old one got sun-bleached into a suggestion.
A Stoke retailer's CLOSING DOWN — EVERYTHING MUST GO sign has now been on the front window for nine years. The owner this week installed the fourth version in laminated A2.
The shop, which sells what one customer described as "a bit of everything and mostly nothing", first announced its closure in 2016. It has since outlasted two lockdowns, a roof leak, and three competing discount stores on Main Road Stoke.
Owner Dennis Hapuku, who's been running the place since the late nineties, said the sale was "genuine" but "ongoing". "Everything must go," he said, gesturing at a stack of 2019 calendars. "It just hasn't gone yet. Stock keeps showing up. I keep ordering it."
Regular customer Marlene Witehira, 58, said she'd been buying the same brand of tea towels off Dennis for nearly a decade. "Every time I come in he tells me it's the last week. I've been to four last weeks this year!"
A Nelson City Council spokesperson, asked whether advertising a closure that isn't happening counts as misleading, said it was "more of a Commerce Commission thing". They added that the shop was "a bit of a local institution at this point, eh".
Dennis confirmed the new sign cost him $84 at the printers in Richmond. He's already ordered a backup. "For when this one closes down," he said.
Know someone this is about? Send it to them.
Spotted something like this in your area?
Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.
SUBMIT A YARN →Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.
Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, a sale meant you'd be gone in a month tops. Not this endless saga. But I suppose people just like seeing the sign by now.
couchgremlin
Lol, forever going out of business.
Trev_Hornby
Good on Dennis. At least he's honest about it, unlike some other places where they sting you at the till. I've known him since he took over that spot in the late '90s.
Margaret_F
I remember when my cousin got tricked into buying a 'last chance' rug in '07. Still has it somewhere, probably under another rug. Classic retailers!