MT EDEN FUNDRAISER SELLS WRAPPING PAPER FOR THE AGES

In a move that has left Mt Eden parents both bemused and begrudgingly impressed, the latest school fundraiser has put a premium on wrapping paper — but not just any wrapping paper, mind you. This stuff is so garishly colourful it could blind a seagull, yet just like those overpriced candles, it’s destined to gather dust until the next charity garage sale. ‘Looks great but what the hell am I supposed to wrap?’ sniffed Margaret Henderson, an astute local mum who also moonlights as the self-appointed wrapping paper critic of the neighbourhood.

As parents jostled for position in the pickup lane while trying to shout their best "sweet as" impressions over honking horns, the wrapping paper quickly became the talk of the town. Surely, one mused, this isn’t the shiny solution to solve our primary school funding woes? Why not just ask for a good ol’ donation instead of peddling rolls of wrapping paper no one will ever use? But that's the humour of Mt Eden, where concerns about the ultimate fate of said paper are only overshadowed by how much they’ve spent on the darn thing.

‘Last time I checked, we’re living in 2023 and things can be posted or given without fancy paper,’ said one dad, who we won’t name for fear of getting a talking to by the PTA. Meanwhile, mum-wars are brewing on the school’s Facebook page as the unwrapping of opinions unfolds with far more tension than the latest season of reality TV.

Back in the day — 1974 to be precise — we didn't need fancy wrapping for a present; a Newspaper and string did just as well. But alas, as house prices skyrocket and traffic on the motorway makes its own reality show, perhaps these trinkets are just a symptom of our current Mt Eden malaise: wrapped up in doubt about how best to support our kids without losing our marbles in the process.