The Daily Yarn
WEDNESDAY, 27 MAY 2026 · National Edition · Aotearoa's Most Reliable Unreliable News
Sports Sideline

HAMILTON EAST UNDER-12 RUGBY GAME HALTED THREE TIMES — PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL

The cow had no comment. The jandal's owner is still at large.

A Saturday morning under-12 rugby match at Steele Park was stopped three times in the second half. First a plane. Then a cow. Then a single jandal landed on the halfway line during a scrum.

The ref, a 19-year-old Waikato Uni student doing his second-ever game, told The Daily Yarn he wasn't trained for any of it. "They covered head knocks and forward passes. They did not cover livestock."

Sideline dad Mitchell Rauhihi, whose son plays loosehead, was less measured. "Fucking shambles, ay. Plane I can wear — it's Hamilton, planes happen. But where's the cow from? There's no paddock. And then some little tosser lobs a jandal on and the ref blows it up like it's a bomb threat."

The cow was described by one parent as brown and unbothered. It crossed the field in the 47th minute and left via the carpark before anyone could grab it. A woman at the sausage sizzle reckoned it came from "down by the river somewhere", which raises more questions than it answers.

A Hamilton City Council spokesperson said the cow was "not a council matter at this stage" and the jandal had been placed in lost property at the clubrooms. Asked about the plane, they said: "That's the airport's problem. Always has been."

The match was called a draw, which has pleased nobody. The jandal is a size 9 left foot, Warehouse brand, a bit munted. Still unclaimed at time of filing.
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