AHURIRI NETBALL MUM EJECTED FOR COACHING THE REF EVERY 12 SECONDS
The under-11 game was 40 minutes long. She lasted 14.
Sports Sideline
Saturday morning rugby, netball, cricket, hockey, football — whatever's on at the local club.
PAPAKURA HOCKEY DAD BRINGS MEGAPHONE TO UNDER-13 GAME, DECLINES TO PUT IT DOWN
The umpire is 16. The megaphone is a Warehouse special. The volume is set to Papakura.
SHIRLEY SIDELINE DAD FILMING UNDER-11 SOCCER FOR "THE TRIBUNAL" NOW ON HIS THIRD MEMORY CARD
There is no tribunal. There has never been a tribunal. He's still filming.
HAMILTON EAST UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED THREE TIMES IN ONE HALF — PLANE, COW, JANDAL
A Stuff investigation can reveal the match resumed, then stopped, then resumed, then stopped again.
NGONGOTAHA UNDER-11 CRICKET HALTED 22 MINUTES BY LAB NAMED BISCUIT
Umpire called dead ball. Dog wouldn't move. Dad on the boundary lost it at a teenager.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS PHILLIPSTOWN NETBALL TROPHY ENGRAVED '1987' AWARDED EVERY YEAR SINCE 2009
Fourteen winning captains held the cup aloft. None of them looked at the plinth.
UPPER RICCARTON UNDER-11s COACH INSISTS BOG IS "CHARACTER BUILDING" AS THIRD KID LOSES BOOT TO MUD
Coach Dazza reckons the swamp is a teaching moment. The parents reckon Dazza is the teaching moment.
BRIGHTON UNDER-11s SERVED BUDGET MANDARINS AT HALF-TIME — DADS NEARLY KICK OFF
Club president blames "a Pak'nSave situation". Sideline blames the club president.
ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS UNDER-10 'PLAYER OF THE DAY' WAS NOT ACTUALLY AT THE GAME
Forty-seven findings handed down. The chocolate fish has been impounded.
TAHUNANUI U-11 NETBALL MUM ACCUSED OF "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" VIA ORANGE QUARTERS
Other team's parents reckon the segments were cut to intimidate. They were not wrong.
TAURANGA UNDER-15 RUGBY BUS ROCKS UP TO MCLEAN PARK FOUR HOURS LATE — GPS BLAMED A FERRY
The under-15s. A Toyota Coaster. Nobody told the satnav the boat doesn't run anymore.
TE PUKE UNDER-11 REF DOWNS WHISTLE MID-GAME, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP" AND "NOT BLOODY PAID FOR THIS"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Two dads still arguing about a forward pass nobody was there to call.
WINTON UNDER-13 RUGBY HALTED BY PLANE, COW, AND ONE JANDAL
Three stoppages in twelve minutes. The cow's still out there.
MIRAMAR UNDER-13 NETBALL SIDE PARADES TROPHY ENGRAVED '2019' FOR THREE WEEKS BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES
Engraver in Napier blames a long Friday. Coach blames the clubroom lighting. Mums blame each other.
NEWTOWN UNDER-11 NETBALL REF THREATENED WITH NEIGHBOURLY REVIEW OVER "DODGY CONTACT CALL"
The ref is 16. The mum is 43. The post is now pinned.
TAKAPUNA TOUCH MATCH STOPPED BY SIDELINE DAD'S VAPE CLOUD
The dad reckons it was pineapple ice. The ref says she couldn't see the try line.
LINWOOD NETBALL MUM BINS RIVAL'S ORANGES FOR BEING 'CUT WRONG' AT UNDER-11 FINAL
Quarter-time slicing now run by a woman called Donna and a laminated roster.
ONERAHI U-13 REF DOWNS WHISTLE AT 2.55PM, CITES "SCHOOL PICKUP, MATE"
Game abandoned at 14-all. Sideline dad still yelling about a forward pass twenty minutes later.
ISLAND BAY UNDER-11 FOOTY BBQ SETS OFF LIBRARY SMOKE ALARM, EVACUATES STORY TIME
Twenty-two toddlers ushered onto The Parade clutching picture books. Coach Brent reckons the snarlers were 'just getting going'.
PONSONBY UNDER-10s RUGBY DESCENDS INTO ORANGE-RELATED SHOUTING MATCH BETWEEN GROWN ADULTS
Two mothers, one chilly bin, no oranges. The children watched.