LINWOOD NETBALL MUM BINS RIVAL'S ORANGES FOR BEING 'CUT WRONG' AT UNDER-11 FINAL
Quarter-time slicing now run by a woman called Donna and a laminated roster.
A half-time orange roster at the Linwood Netball Centre has descended into what umpires are calling "a tactical situation", after one team mum allegedly binned another mum's segments for being the wrong shape.
The Under-11 semi was delayed eleven minutes on Saturday while Donna Petricevich, the self-appointed quarter-time coordinator, inspected a Tupperware and declared the slices "sixths, not eighths, which is frankly fucked".
The mother who'd brought them, Kelly-Anne Brough, told The Daily Yarn she was about ready to deck her. "Donna's been running oranges like it's North Korea. My girl scored four goals last week and got handed a mandarin. At netball. I could spit."
The umpire, a 16-year-old named Mireia, said she'd tried to start the third quarter but the parents were doing a stand-off near the gear shed. One dad was heard telling another dad to "pull your head in, Bevan, they're ten". Bevan did not pull his head in.
A Mainland Netball spokesperson confirmed they were aware of the orange situation and reminded clubs that half-time fruit was meant to be "a treat, not a power structure". Donna has refused to step back, citing continuity.
Kelly-Anne's daughter scored six in the final. She was handed a mandarin. My Gerald would've called the lot of them wee shits.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Donna sounds like the sort of person who brings a clipboard to a family BBQ. Chill out, they’re oranges!
MumOf3_Riccarton
I've had run-ins with Donna before. She once told my son he couldn't have more than one Anzac biscuit. It's a game, not a military operation.
Bevan_Ball_Fan
Mate, Bevan is a LEGEND and doesn't need to pull his head in. Some folks just can't handle that kind of charisma.
BarryBishopdale
@Bevan_Ball_Fan Bevan's a joke, mate. It's a bloody kids' game not the Olympics.
couchgremlin
Lol. Never trusted a sliced orange. They're tricky little bastards.