TAKAPUNA TOUCH MATCH STOPPED BY SIDELINE DAD'S VAPE CLOUD
The dad reckons it was pineapple ice. The ref says she couldn't see the try line.
A social touch match at Onepoto Domain was halted on Wednesday evening after a sideline parent's vape cloud rolled across the field. The referee could no longer see the try line.
The vape belonged to Damo Whitfield, 41, of Forrest Hill, who'd been standing two metres from the dead-ball line in a Hurricanes jersey he had no business wearing. "Mate, it's pineapple ice, it's not mustard gas," Whitfield told The Daily Yarn, before producing another cloud. "They're carrying on like a pork chop."
The referee, a 19-year-old AUT student named Te Aroha, stopped play in the fourth minute of the second half. "Someone got touched and I couldn't tell who," she said. "Also I got a contact buzz off it. I've got a tutorial at nine."
A mum from the opposing team, Janine, walked the sideline to inform Damo he was "a fucking munter" and that her son had asthma. Damo replied that his son "also probably has asthma, statistically". A second dad tried to mediate and was told to get fucked by both parties inside eight seconds.
A spokesperson for the touch module said vaping on the sideline was "discouraged but not technically prohibited". They confirmed Damo had been asked to stand "over by the bins". The code is reviewing whether to add vapes to the list alongside dogs and glass bottles.
Play resumed twelve minutes later once the cloud had drifted toward Lake Pupuke. Damo has since been added to a WhatsApp group he doesn't know about.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Bloody vapers taking over the world. Back in the day, you got a beer and talked shit, not turned the field into a fog machine.
Janine.Belmonte
Damo's a classic knob. My son played against his kid once. More concerned about blowing clouds than sportsmanship.
Conspiracy_Kiwi84
You wait. The council will see this and build a vape zone. It's all just preparation for taxing us on fresh air.
Margaret_F
I remember when you could bring a flask of whisky to games. Kids turned out OK. Now everyone's scared of a bit of fruity mist.
BarryBishopdale
Pineapple ice sounds more like a terrible cocktail. Vaping should be sent back to the 2000s where it belongs.
couchgremlin
Lol. Damo sounds like a legend.
soccer_mum76
Imagine needing a WhatsApp group to ban a grown adult from his own kid's games. Honestly, grow up.