COURIER REPORTS IN ONERAHI LEAD TO POLICE ALERT

In what some are calling a developing crisis, an Onerahi resident has taken the peculiar step of alerting Whangarei Police about a courier who displayed an alarming level of politeness. "I mean, he even smiled at me! What was he up to?" said the concerned local, clutching a cup of cold tea as if it was her last surviving biscuit.

Constable Dave Pearce, who’s known for his keen investigative skills and a penchant for acronyms, was called in to unravel this mystery that could only be described as a case of 'courier civility calamity'. He revealed, "Look, I’ve dealt with dodgy mail deliveries in my time. But a happy courier? Now that's a first—might need to alert HQ."

Eyewitness accounts confirm that the delivery chap asked about the resident's day before handing over a package. "Bit too friendly if you ask me. What’s next? A hug at the mailbox?" questioned a neighbour who wished to remain anonymous, shaking her head as if watching the day's finale of a soap opera.

As the suburbs of Onerahi grapple with this unprecedented situation, authorities remind locals that while being too polite might seem suspicious, it's likely just an unfortunate sign of the times. Meanwhile, residents are advised to keep an eye on their mailboxes and, for goodness' sake, watch out for overly friendly couriers roaming the streets of Whangarei.