DEVONPORT FERRY COMMUTER REPORTS "COORDINATED" SEAGULL CAMPAIGN, WANTS CHARGES LAID

A Devonport man boarding the 7.45 to the city has filed a formal complaint alleging he is being stood over by three seagulls at the wharf.

The complainant, Hugh Marsden, 54, an accountant, told The Daily Yarn the harassment began Tuesday. "The big one with the bung leg is the ringleader. He waits on the bollard. The other two flank. I've started holding my flat white inside my coat like contraband."

Marsden said he had lost one almond croissant, half a bacon-and-egg pie, and "the last of my professional dignity" over the course of the week. He now boards via the rear gangway, which he concedes is not sustainable.

Constable Pearce, attending, confirmed the incident had been logged as a BIM (Bird Interaction Matter) and forwarded to no-one in particular. "The complainant alleges premeditation on the part of the gulls. Intent is difficult to establish in avian suspects. My mate at the station reckons they're organised. He reckons that about the cyclists too."

A Fullers spokesperson said seagulls were "a known feature of the marine environment" and passengers should eat indoors. Asked whether the company would intervene, the spokesperson said: "We don't manage the birds. The birds manage themselves."

Marsden was last seen eating a muesli bar inside his jacket, facing the wall. The seagull was still on the bollard.