Suburban Crime

MAILBOX GRAFFITI: THE YOUTHS STRIKE AGAIN!

Local residents in Roslyn are expressing their frustrations over recent acts of vandalism.

By Barry Hoskins, Eastern Suburbs Bureau Chief · Roslyn · 4 weeks ago

The good folk of Roslyn are at their wits' end after a fresh wave of graffiti was discovered on mailboxes, with most putting the blame squarely on the ever-controversial ‘youths’. One particularly grumpy resident noted, 'It’s like the bloody Wild West around here! What’s next, a catapult in the garden?'. You’d think this was a story straight outta 1974 rather than 2023, but here we are, folks.

While one mailbox sported a rather artistic interpretation of a possum, locals aren’t laughing. 'I’ve got half a mind to patrol the neighbourhood with a paintbrush and some good old-fashioned elbow grease', said Margaret Kenmore, clutching a cup of tea like it’s her only lifeline. Perhaps a misguided attempt at street art, or just another Tuesday in the student city?

The council has been notified, but residents are taking matters into their own hands, stockpiling paint thinner and discussing making a neighbourhood watch (or as they put it, a “watch all the bloody times”) group. One informed source suggested they draw straws for who gets to sit outside with a megaphone, barking orders at anything that moves.

Until the culprits are apprehended—or until the wind blows the graffiti away—Roslyn will continue to be a veritable canvas for whatever mischief these 'youths' can conjure up. And as for that possum? Well, he’s apparently still at large, possibly plotting his next art installation.

Reader Letters

Trevor McLeod

Oh please, just let the kids express themselves! Graffiti is practically modern art, and I'm not just saying that because my garage looks like a mural gallery. Maybe we should be worried about the lack of creativity in this town instead?

Sharon Ngatai

While I totally get the frustration, maybe these 'youths' just need a more productive outlet. How about we set up some community workshops? But one thing's for sure, no paint thinner will fix the tragic lack of art appreciation around here.

Linda Chen

Honestly, how is it worse than that bright yellow house down the road? Let’s not pretend like Roslyn is a pristine paradise; it's got personality now! And hey, the possum masterpiece could become a tourist attraction—'Come for the nature, stay for the weird art.'

Wayne Patterson

I think we need to redirect our energies. Instead of wasting time with megaphones, why don’t we teach these kids to spray paint something actually useful, like a giant map to the nearest fast food joint? Now that’s art that speaks to all generations!