NEIGHBOURLY SOLAR PANELS ACCUSED OF SPYING

In what can only be described as a bloody monumental kerfuffle, a Bishopdale resident has gone on record, claiming their neighbour's solar panels are 'spying' on their property. Yeah nah, it's 2023, but apparently, we've regressed to the Cold War. Next thing you know, we'll be worrying about the consequences of wind turbines eavesdropping on our BBQ chats.

Samantha, a self-proclaimed guardian of privacy, insists her neighbour’s panels are 'monitoring' her every move, creating what can only be described as an unwarranted 'solar surveillance state.' It’s as if they think those panels might start broadcasting her weekly shopping runs to Countdown. "Last week, I swear I caught them watching while I was trimming my hedge!" she exclaimed, passion flaring like a barbeque on Guy Fawkes.

Local gardener and tradesman, Dave the Tradie, said from the local Mitre 10, “People need to sort themselves out… next they'll be saying the moon's a conspiracy. Bit of sunlight never hurt anyone unless you're stuck under a road cone waiting for the rebuild to sort itself out.” It's a shame no one told Samantha about the ‘leave your curtains closed’ protocol that many in the Garden City seem to forget.

As the feud rumbles on like an old MBG down a bumpy road, the Bishopdale community is left wondering whether it's time to call in the ‘Solar Panel Defenders’ or simply pass a cup of tea and move on. In the meantime, keep an eye on those pesky panels, folks — never know when you're being watched by the neighbourhood solar squad.