Tradie Tales

GLADSTONE INSULATION JOB UNCOVERS TIME CAPSULE OF VB CANS

A bloody unexpected find has left locals questioning the choices of past generations.

By Margaret Henderson, Senior Correspondent · Gladstone · 1 week ago

Tradies in Gladstone have unearthed a pack of vintage VB cans while installing insulation, leading to a mix of surprise and bewilderment. It’s a shit-pull on the history front, with one tradie noting, "You don't expect to find this sort of rubbish when you're just trying to make a home cosy!"

As if the bloody southern cold wasn’t enough to deal with, a gang of blokes stumbled upon the relic while pulling down old walls. The instinctive reaction of lifting a can in celebration was swiftly replaced with considering whether or not VB even deserves to be celebrated. "Gerald would’ve loved this—he had an astonishing ability to drink anything. Even shit like this!" Margaret scoffed, recalling her late husband’s questionable tastes.

Locals are now divided. Some view the find as a glimpse into the depths of Kiwi culture; others see it as proof that our fathers really were a buncha muppets. "I thought we’d moved on from VB, but here we are, thanks to a dodgy insulation job!" laughed another tradie, clearly stoked to have a yarn about it over smoko.

Invercargill City Council is being pressured to declare the spot a historical site; perhaps to justify why the bloodied things were ever consumed in the first place. Everyone knows: it ain’t a pretty sight when you crack one open after a hard day's graft—all skint knees and shit details. But hey, a find’s a find, and as the locals say, better VB than nothing at all.

Reader Letters

Sharon Ngatai

Honestly, finding VB cans isn’t that surprising. I bet they’ve been hiding in there for decades! It just goes to show that some things never really leave us, like the dubious taste of our fathers.

Wayne Patterson

I reckon we should embrace this discovery! VB might be a bit rough around the edges, but it’s part of our history. Let’s get the council to celebrate our questionable past—VB might just become a cultural icon!

Janice Walsh

For crying out loud, why are we getting sentimental about VB? It’s like keeping relics of dodgy choices! Though maybe it’s great for a laugh over a proper beer; I’ll gladly sip on anything brewed with some taste!

Trevor McLeod

Look, I’m no fan of VB, but we need to appreciate a good yarn. At least it sparks conversation, right? You can’t say it’s good for much else, so let’s just chalk it up to a lesson learned about our past, eh?