ISLAND BAY BATHROOM RENO STALLED 11 DAYS OVER WRONG SHADE OF WHITE

A bathroom renovation on an Island Bay villa has been stalled for eleven days while the homeowner determines whether the chosen wall tile is the correct shade of white.

This reporter attended the site on Tuesday. The lead tradesman, one Macca, was sitting in a Hilux eating what he described as "me third fucken mince and cheese of the morning". Macca advised work had ceased at 0900 hours on the 14th, when the client returned from yoga and identified the tile as "more bone than ivory".

"It's white," Macca told The Daily Yarn. "It's fucken white. She's got another one here that's also white. I cannot, for the life of me, tell you the difference. Me apprentice reckons one's slightly more white. He's nineteen and wears a beanie inside, so I'm not taking his word for it."

The homeowner, Phillipa, declined to be interviewed but stated through a partially closed door that the issue was "about undertones" and that her consultant, Fenella, was "liaising with Resene". Fenella was subsequently observed on the front lawn on a video call, holding two tiles up against a third tile.

Macca's boss said the job was on hold pending sign-off and the variation would add "four to six grand" to the invoice. "She's a good cunt, Phillipa. Pays on time. But I've got a sparkie booked Thursday and no walls for him to look at."

At time of filing, the apprentice had been dispatched to Mitre 10 Mega Petone for a third white. Macca was on his fourth pie.