The Daily Yarn
WEDNESDAY, 27 MAY 2026 · National Edition · Aotearoa's Most Reliable Unreliable News
Tradie Tales

NEWMARKET APPRENTICE SPENDS SIX HOURS LOOKING FOR TARTAN PAINT AT THREE DIFFERENT BUNNINGS

The long weight is ongoing. So is the apprenticeship, technically.

A first-year apprentice on a Newmarket fit-out has spent Wednesday driving between three Bunnings stores looking for tartan paint and a long weight. Neither exists.

The apprentice, Cameron, 17, was sent off at 8.04am with a handwritten list and forty bucks. By lunchtime he'd crossed the harbour bridge twice, sat in Spaghetti Junction for thirty-five minutes, and been told by a trade desk bloke to "try Placemakers, mate, we're out".

"Foreman said it had to be tartan, not plaid, because the client's Scottish," Cameron told The Daily Yarn from the Albany carpark, eating a mince and cheese he'd paid for himself. "Bunnings keep sending me to aisle 12. Aisle 12 is fucking light bulbs."

Foreman Dazza, contacted on site while eating a pie, said Cameron was "a good cunt" but needed "a bit of seasoning". Asked if he'd tell the apprentice the paint wasn't real, Dazza said: "Nah. Builds character. I did six hours on a left-handed hammer in '03."

A Bunnings staffer at Grey Lynn said three apprentices had come in asking for tartan paint this month. One had cried. "We're not allowed to tell them anymore. Management reckons it's a teachable moment."

As of 4pm Cameron was stuck on the Northwestern, still holding the list. Dazza had just rung to add a bubble for the spirit level.
Report / Takedown
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