NEWTOWN DECK BUILT 'FOR ENTERTAINING' FITS EXACTLY ZERO CHAIRS, ONE FOOT
The builder reckons it's a vibe deck. The owner reckons it's a windowsill.
A Newtown homeowner has paid $18,400 for a deck the builder described as "perfect for entertaining". It cannot fit a single dining chair without one leg in the hydrangeas.
Owner Polly Whitcombe, 39, said she'd asked for "somewhere to put a table and six chairs" when she signed off in April. What she got was a 1.1-metre strip of pine along the back of her Riddiford Street villa, ending in a step that goes nowhere.
"I measured it this morning," Whitcombe said. "A chair is 48 centimetres deep. The deck is 110. So two chairs fit, if no-one sits in them and the table is imaginary."
The builder, Macca from a Tawa outfit, said the deck was "built to spec, bloody good job actually". Pressed on the chair situation, Macca said: "She didn't say what size chairs, did she. Bar stools fit fucking heaps."
Macca added that Polly was "carrying on a bit" and the deck had a producer statement from a mate who is "a good cunt and a chippie". Wellington City Council confirmed the consent was for a "Type B accessory structure" and declined to comment on furniture.
Whitcombe put one plastic stool on the deck for a photo. It blew off in Tuesday's southerly and is now in the neighbour's compost.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Bloody hell, Macca's a classic. Build a matchstick deck and call it "entertaining". Seen it a dozen times up our way.
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, we built our own bloody decks with a few mates and some crates. No fancy "Type B" consents. Just good old kiwi ingenuity.
angryinhoughton
Ridiculous! For $18,400 you could buy a FANCY caravan! That's enough space for a table AND some chairs.
MumOf3_Porirua
I've been down Riddiford Street a lot. Tough place for a deck but come on, Polly, common sense says check the plans!
BarryBishopdale
Polly's the one fooling herself pretending a 1.1m deck is somehow a 'proper' deck. Just a step, literally and figuratively!
ropeable_jack
@BarryBishopdale Mate, can't say I've met anyone dreaming of a 1.1m deck but if Polly wants one who are we to ruin the dream?
Margaret_F
My nephew, bless him, had the same problem with a fence. Macca's probably the same bloke who charged him for a job half-finished.