NEWTOWN DECK BUILT 'FOR ENTERTAINING' FITS EXACTLY ZERO CHAIRS, ONE FOOT
The builder reckons it's a vibe deck. The owner reckons it's a windowsill.
A Newtown homeowner has paid $18,400 for a deck the builder described as "perfect for entertaining". It cannot fit a single dining chair without one leg in the hydrangeas.
Owner Polly Whitcombe, 39, said she'd asked for "somewhere to put a table and six chairs" when she signed off in April. What she got was a 1.1-metre strip of pine along the back of her Riddiford Street villa, ending in a step that goes nowhere.
"I measured it this morning," Whitcombe said. "A chair is 48 centimetres deep. The deck is 110. So two chairs fit, if no-one sits in them and the table is imaginary."
The builder, Macca from a Tawa outfit, said the deck was "built to spec, bloody good job actually". Pressed on the chair situation, Macca said: "She didn't say what size chairs, did she. Bar stools fit fucking heaps."
Macca added that Polly was "carrying on a bit" and the deck had a producer statement from a mate who is "a good cunt and a chippie". Wellington City Council confirmed the consent was for a "Type B accessory structure" and declined to comment on furniture.
Whitcombe put one plastic stool on the deck for a photo. It blew off in Tuesday's southerly and is now in the neighbour's compost.
Owner Polly Whitcombe, 39, said she'd asked for "somewhere to put a table and six chairs" when she signed off in April. What she got was a 1.1-metre strip of pine along the back of her Riddiford Street villa, ending in a step that goes nowhere.
"I measured it this morning," Whitcombe said. "A chair is 48 centimetres deep. The deck is 110. So two chairs fit, if no-one sits in them and the table is imaginary."
The builder, Macca from a Tawa outfit, said the deck was "built to spec, bloody good job actually". Pressed on the chair situation, Macca said: "She didn't say what size chairs, did she. Bar stools fit fucking heaps."
Macca added that Polly was "carrying on a bit" and the deck had a producer statement from a mate who is "a good cunt and a chippie". Wellington City Council confirmed the consent was for a "Type B accessory structure" and declined to comment on furniture.
Whitcombe put one plastic stool on the deck for a photo. It blew off in Tuesday's southerly and is now in the neighbour's compost.