ONERAHI BUILDER DECLARES KITCHEN RENO "FINISHED EXCEPT THE FINISHING" — HOMEOWNER DISAGREES

An Onerahi homeowner has been informed by her builder that her six-month kitchen renovation is "basically done bar the finishing", despite the kitchen having no benchtops, no splashback, exposed Gib, and a sink balanced on two milk crates.

This reporter attended the address on Beach Road following a tip-off from the desk. The builder, one Shane Rakete of Rakete Building Solutions Ltd (sole director, sole employee, sole ute), was located on site consuming a mince and cheese from the Onerahi Four Square and offered the following operational update: "She's 95 percent there, bro. Just the finishing left. Two days, tops."

Homeowner Lorraine Tapsell, 58, who has been washing dishes in the laundry tub since May, was less convinced. "He said two days in May. He said two days in July. He said two days the day my mother visited from Kerikeri and had to piss in a bucket because he'd disconnected the toilet for 'access'. I am out of two days."

Pressed on what "the finishing" entailed, Mr Rakete listed: benchtops, cabinet doors, the splashback, the floor, the second coat on the ceiling, the rangehood, the oven install, the plumbing certification, and "that wall". Asked whether "that wall" was load-bearing, he indicated he would "have a squiz Tuesday". He did not specify the Tuesday.

A mate of mine at the station notes that under the Building Act 2004, a dwelling without a functioning kitchen or certified plumbing is not technically a completed renovation, regardless of the contractor's personal assessment. Mr Rakete, informed of this, responded that the Act was "written by clipboard cunts in Wellington who've never swung a hammer". He is, by his own admission, owed a final progress payment of $14,200.

Mrs Tapsell has engaged a second builder for a quote. The second builder took one look at the kitchen, said "fuck me dead", and left without leaving a card.