ONERAHI TRADIE CLAIMS JOB DONE, ONLY FINISHING LEFT TO DO

In a move that can only be described as a classic case of 'she’ll be right', a tradie from Onerahi has declared his latest job finished, save for the small detail of actually finishing it. This has left many residents scratching their heads, wondering if they've unwittingly wandered into a bloody circus performance rather than a construction site. How’s that for a bloody piss-take?

Local widow and keen observer of life’s absurdities, Margaret Henderson, lamented the state of workmanship in her neighbourhood. 'In my day, if it wasn’t done right, you’d be told to come back and fix it, not just say it’s done like some half-arsed job. Gerald would’ve had ‘em sent packing!' she scoffed while eyeing the tradies with a mixture of disgust and disbelief.

When asked for clarification on the situation, the tradie—whose name was tragically lost to the winds of time—grinned and said, 'Ah, it’s all good! Just need a few touch-ups when I get the chance. A couple of months, maybe.' Residents were seen rolling their eyes, clearly aware that 'a couple of months' meant he’d still be bloody rooting around there next spring.

In true Northland fashion, locals are taking it in their stride, but as the old saying goes, if you want it done properly, best to do it yourself—or at least hire someone who won’t come back and spit the dummy when asked for a finished product. Meanwhile, the site continues to collect dust, waiting for a tradie who might just have their act together—or at least understands what 'finished' really means.