PONSONBY TRADIE SPIRALS AS JOB ‘DONE TUESDAY’ ENTERS THIRD YEAR

In a shocking twist that would make even the most patient Aucklander weep, local tradie Dave 'the Plumber' McGowan has discovered that his 'done Tuesday' job has entered its third year of limbo. Residents had begun to suspect they were living in a plumbing purgatory after waiting for the guy to arrive since 2021.

"I thought it was a piss-take at first, like some bloody joke set up by the locals, but nah mate, here we are," said McGowan, as he sipped on his third flat white of the morning, oblivious to the growing inconvenience.

Locals have taken to referring to the job as the 'Eternal Leak' instead of its original plumbing title, a whimsical nod to their patience and frustration. "I spat the dummy a while ago, I mean, who waits this long for a bloody pipe to be fixed?" lamented Margaret Henderson, a long-suffering resident. "Munter could’ve at least sent a thank-you card or something."

The saga has drawn comparisons to the ongoing saga of Auckland’s traffic - slow, painful, and seemingly endless. “I’d rather sit in rush hour on the Harbour Bridge, but at least we’d have the stunning views to distract us from the shit show,” McGowan chuckled, resigned to the fact that in Auckland, even your plumbing can take its sweet time. As one highway signs says, maybe it’s time to start thinking about other priorities first, like house prices and ferry schedules. Cheers to that, Auckland!