Tradie Tales

SMOKO MEETING TURNED INTO PIE PARLIAMENT IN DEVONPORT

Why talk about real issues when you can lecture on pastry safety?

By Margaret Henderson, Senior Correspondent · Devonport · 3 weeks ago

In a move that has devoured the spirit of smoko, tradies in Devonport found themselves listening to a bloody health and safety lecture about pies instead of demolishing the last of Tommy's meat pies. "I've seen more convincing arguments from a damp sponge!" grumbled one worker, clearly out of patience. It’s fair to say the only thing getting a workout on that site is the pissing-off factor – right up there with Auckland's famed traffic.

Gerald always said if you're focused on pastries, you're hardening the arteries AND the hearts of your crew. But here we are, stuck in another round of pie safety regulations while the real issues – like Dave's questionable choice of fillings – get swept under the carpet like last month’s rusting gib board. “Mate, it’s a bloody pie, not a bloody quantum physics experiment,” Dave bellowed when asked about the potential hazards of using the local bakery’s beef and cheese flavour.

With the Harbour Bridge looming in the background, this unintended detour into pastry politics has brought forth a few eye rolls and a lot of eye-rolling. One tradie even suggested a smoko revolution: “How about free pies for every hour of this nonsense?!” But unless it's on the table for Tuesday (which every tradie knows means next year), it looks like we’ll be stuck digesting more than just our lunch for a while longer.

Keeping it real, smoko should be about enjoying a good pie, not being treated like muppets in a class on how to eat one. Here's hoping next time we can get back to whingeing about that bloody ferry schedule instead of calorie count.

Reader Letters

Trevor McLeod

Honestly, it sounds like the only thing truly overcooked here is that lecture. If we can't even enjoy a good pie without being treated like kids in a school cafeteria, what’s next? Health and safety for our sandwiches? No thanks!

Sharon Ngatai

I get the health angle, but seriously, who doesn’t know how to eat a pie? If I wanted a lecture, I’d sit through family meetings, not smoko! Can't we just keep it simple, folks?

Janice Walsh

While I appreciate the intention, are we really putting pie toppings on the same shelf as high-risk hazards? If anything, we should have a class on dodging Dave's dodgy fillings instead!

Wayne Patterson

Smoko meetings turning into pie politics? Sounds about right! Next thing you know, someone will want to control how we dunk our Tim Tams. Let’s save the safety chats for the sites that actually need them!

Linda Chen

Let’s be real, a good pie shouldn’t come with an instruction manual. How about we focus more on choosing the right fillings and less on how to eat them? Safety first, but enjoyment should come a close second!