DEVONPORT WEATHER DECLARED INCONVENIENT AFTER ALL

It seems like Mother Nature is carrying on like a pork chop this week in Devonport, as a solitary angry cloud has ruined what should have been a delightful sunny day. Local residents woke up to MetService's cheery forecasts, only for the heavens to open in spectacular fashion due to this stubborn wee shit of a cloud, who obviously didn't get the memo about our lovely Auckland weather.

The usual calm on the ferry this morning turned into a right muck-up as commuters wrestled with umbrellas that, like my late husband Gerald, were not up to the job. People habitually groused about traffic jams on the Harbour Bridge, but nobody envisioned a rainstorm playing its part in Auckland's notoriously bad commute.

Bloody hard to believe that we live in a city famous for its 'sunshine, sunshine, and more sunshine' when just one cloud can foul up an entire day. "It’s just typical, isn’t it? You plan your beach day, and then this thing pops up out of nowhere," said local resident Angela, who was drenched despite her best efforts to stay dry in a flimsy rain jacket.

As locals sulk inside, clutching their mugs of lukewarm tea, we can only hope this moody cloud doesn’t decide to stick around for too long. Here’s to yet another bloody Auckland curveball; roll on spring, we say! Next thing you know, North Shore house prices will drop if everybody starts moving to the South Island for the sun. Choices, choices...