PUKEKOHE DECLARES QUIET PANIC OVER MILDLY WARM WIND, ONION GROWERS BLAME AUCKLAND

A north-westerly of no particular distinction blew through Pukekohe on Tuesday afternoon, prompting three separate community Facebook posts, one abandoned washing line, and a woman at the Countdown carpark declaring it "muggy in a way that isn't right".

The temperature reached 24 degrees, which the MetService described as "seasonal" and which locals described as "close, isn't it". My late husband Gerald, who grew onions on the flat for thirty-one years, would have called it a Tuesday. He would also have told the woman in the carpark to put a hat on and stop carrying on.

Pukekohe resident Coralie Beadle, 71, said the wind had knocked over her hanging basket and she wasn't happy about it. "I've only just got the fuchsia back after the last one," she said. "They keep saying it's the climate. I say it's the council not trimming the plane trees on King Street. Different problem entirely."

A spokesperson for Auckland Council, contacted about the plane trees, said tree maintenance was "on the forward schedule" and declined to specify a year. Pressed on whether Pukekohe counted as Auckland for the purposes of tree-trimming but not for the purposes of rates, the spokesperson said they'd get back to us.

By 4pm the wind had dropped, the humidity had lifted, and a man at the BP was telling anyone who'd listen that it was "the worst one since February". February, for the record, was fine. My son's new girlfriend, who is from Mt Eden and wouldn't know a nor'wester from a hairdryer, has apparently posted about it on Instagram.

The hanging basket has not been recovered.