WASHDYKE PICNIC MOVED INDOORS AS SOUTHERLY HITS, SIX THERMOSES SPARK LINO STANDOFF
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video about a Sunday picnic.
Weather Watch
Hyper-local weather panic — each region has its own weather identity.
CARTERTON UMBRELLA LASTS EIGHT SECONDS, OWNER BLAMES CLIMATE CHANGE
You didn't hear it from me. Heard it off Kev at the Carterton Club, Thursday. Maybe Wednesday.
FEILDING MAN LODGES FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST THE WIND, ALLEGES "PERSONAL VENDETTA"
Constable's note: the wind is not, at time of writing, a person under the Crimes Act 1961.
PICTON BRACES FOR 'AUCKLAND WEATHER' AFTER ONE HUMID AFTERNOON
The mercury hit 22 with a bit of stick in the air. Marlborough has declared this unacceptable.
METSERVICE PROMISES "FINE AND SETTLED" OVER DEVONPORT — ONE CLOUD DIDN'T GET THE MEMO
The forecast said sun. The sky said get stuffed. A single dark cloud is now parked directly over the ferry terminal doing whatever it wants.
METSERVICE PROMISES FINE DAY IN DEVONPORT, ONE CLOUD DISAGREES
The forecast said sunny. The cloud said no.
PAPAMOA SUNBURN VICTIM BLAMES "SNEAKY" SEPTEMBER SUN, NOT THE FOUR-HOUR NAP ON THE BEACH
Bloke from Milson went on holiday up north. Came back the colour of a stop sign.
METSERVICE PROMISES "FINE AND SETTLED" OVER WHANGANUI — ONE CLOUD DIDN'T GET THE MEMO
The cloud is described as dark and rude.
GUYS. I NEED TO ADDRESS THE KARORI HAIL SITUATION
A statement from Dave the Tradie regarding aggressive peas and the work he's doing.
PYES PA RETIREE TRUSTS METSERVICE APP, GETS SOAKED BRINGING IN THE WASHING
The app said sunny. The cloud said otherwise. The sheets said nothing — they were already wet.
NGAIO WOMAN'S 'AUCKLAND BEACH DAY' LASTS ELEVEN MINUTES BEFORE SOUTHERLY ARRIVES
The towels were laid out. The chilly bin was open. The weather had other plans, as it does.
AUCKLAND OFFICE LOCKED IN THIRD-DAY STANDOFF OVER WHETHER 18 DEGREES IS A PUFFER DAY
A Christchurch correspondent looks on from four degrees and a nor'wester, weeping into a cold pie.
SOUTH DUNEDIN PAK'NSAVE OUT OF BREAD BY 9.15AM OVER FROST WARNING OF MINUS ONE
The forecast said light frost. The shoppers heard apocalypse.
WESTOWN BLOKE COOKED ON FIRST SUNNY TUESDAY, SHOULDERS NOW STOP-SIGN RED
Macca forgot the sun was a thing. The sun did not forget Macca.
TAURANGA SOUTH HUMIDITY DECLARED A HAZARD TO COIFFURE, COUNCIL TO RESPOND IN DUE COURSE
A resident's fringe was last seen heading toward the Mount under its own power.
KAIAPOI WOMAN RINGS COUNTDOWN ABOUT HAIL, BLAMES KARORI
Wendy thought a bag of peas had burst upstairs. She has no upstairs.
JUDEA SKY DEFIES METSERVICE BY PRODUCING ONE EXTREMELY ANGRY CLOUD
Forecast said sunny. Cloud said otherwise. Cloud won.
Tekapo's mystery boats spark 340-page inquiry, still unclaimed
The Commission finds, on the balance of probabilities, that the boats have been there since at least Queen's Birthday.
NEWFIELD DAIRY BECOMES MET SERVICE ANNEX AFTER FROST DEBATE TURNS PERSONAL
Two pensioners, one thermometer, and a packet of Pineapple Lumps held hostage for forty minutes.
Atawhai Man's Kite Not UFO, Just Very Intense Flying
The kite has dangly bits. The wristwatch cost more than the kite. The wind does not care.