WASHDYKE PICNIC MOVED INDOORS AS SOUTHERLY HITS, SIX THERMOSES SPARK LINO STANDOFF
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video about a Sunday picnic.
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video. deep breath A family picnic in Washdyke was moved indoors on Sunday after a southerly came off the port. What happened next has genuinely shaken me.
The picnic was meant to be at Caroline Bay. By 11am the wind was lifting the sausage rolls off the plate. Hostess Denise Fowler, 58, shifted the lot into her lounge. That's where the thermos situation got out of hand.
"Everyone brought a thermos," Denise told The Daily Yarn. "I said I'd do the tea. I said it on the group chat. Karen from Pleasant Point brought hers anyway. Then Lynette brought hers. Then Bruce turned up with soup."
Bruce Harding, 61, defended the soup. "Denise's lino can't take six thermoses," he said. "Someone had to bring something warm that wasn't tea. I'm doing the work." Bruce declined to specify what work.
A MetService spokesperson said the southerly was "pretty standard for this time of year." Constable Pearce said the matter was "below the threshold" but noted Denise had "a point."
To my community, I am so sorry you had to hear about this. Denise and Karen aren't speaking. The soup went untouched. Links below for my new course on accountability.
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
A bit of rain never hurt anyone, just get a jacket on and soldier through! Back in my day, we'd have had no trouble with a little southerly breeze. Toughen up, folks!
MumOf3_Timaru
Lino can't support six, eh? Must be an old wives' fable or modern physics. Kind of charming how a picnic turns into some thermos turf war. I'd say it'll make a good yarn at the RSA next week.
tradetalk_gerry
Who even has that much lino these days? Just tile it up or invest in outdoor rugs. Thermoses shouldn't spill. Next time, get a gazebo up. Could've been sorted with some Kiwi ingenuity.
couchgremlin
Lol.
wayne1987
Mate, portable picnic setups should have come with instructions. We've all got a Bruce, trying to out-soup the situation. What's Campbell's next move, or are we waiting for the next southerly?
StormyTalk_Timaru
The linoleum wasn't the issue, trust me. But I do think the MetService should've issued a warning for the thermos situation, won't someone think of the picnic etiquette breaches?
Sandra_McKenzie42
A bloody load of thermoses causing a standoff is the most South Canterbury thing I've ever heard. Classic Karen overstepping with the tea!
stickler_jane
Karen should’ve complied with the group chat. One thermos was more than enough. Honestly, in these social situations, there needs to be strict adherence to the plan!
Trev_Hornby
Do you people never learn? Lino, sausages, and southerlies don't mix. A recipe for chaos. Poor Denise just wanted a quiet Sunday picnic dinner and now this whole fiasco.
ropable_dave
mate that's a stinker of an idea