Tawa's Ogre Wedding: Nuns, Onion Tables, and Unsolved Mysteries

A Tawa couple were married on Saturday afternoon in full ogre regalia. The congregation included a nun, a person holding a large wooden cross, and at least two figures described by witnesses as "fairy tale-adjacent". The Daily Yarn can today reveal the ceremony went ahead without objection. No-one, sources confirm, has explained the cross.

Multiple sources who spoke to The Daily Yarn on condition of anonymity described the bride's bouquet as "genuinely lovely, considering". One guest, who asked to be identified only as "the second fairy from the left", said the green face paint came from a Lambton Quay costume shop. It was "meant to be wipeable but isn't".

"She said 'I do' through a prosthetic ear. I've never been more moved." — wedding guest, dressed as a nun, who is not actually a nun

The bride, Petra Ellingham, 34, told The Daily Yarn she and her now-husband Davo had met at Armageddon three years ago. "It was always going to be ogres or nothing," she said. Davo, contacted via Petra because his prosthetic was still attached, confirmed the sentiment with a thumbs up and what witnesses described as "a committed grunt".

What we know: The wedding took place. The couple are legally married. The celebrant wore normal clothes and appeared, per one guest, "to be the only adult in the room". The reception was at a Tawa hall and featured an onion-themed grazing table.

What we don't know: Why the nun. Who the nun is. Whether the nun knew the couple, or was, as one source suggested, "just at the hall for a different booking and got swept up". The identity of the person with the cross remains unknown.

A hall spokesperson said the booking form listed the event as "themed celebration". Staff were "not in the business of asking follow-up questions". The carpet, they added, was "a separate matter being addressed".

The Daily Yarn has approached the nun for comment.