Tawa's Ogre Wedding: Nuns, Onion Tables, and Unsolved Mysteries
A Stuff investigation into the green-painted nuptials that have left a Tawa hall booking officer requesting a full carpet shampoo.
A Tawa couple were married on Saturday afternoon in full ogre regalia. The congregation included a nun, a person holding a large wooden cross, and at least two figures described by witnesses as "fairy tale-adjacent". The Daily Yarn can today reveal the ceremony went ahead without objection. No-one, sources confirm, has explained the cross.
Multiple sources who spoke to The Daily Yarn on condition of anonymity described the bride's bouquet as "genuinely lovely, considering". One guest, who asked to be identified only as "the second fairy from the left", said the green face paint came from a Lambton Quay costume shop. It was "meant to be wipeable but isn't".
"She said 'I do' through a prosthetic ear. I've never been more moved." — wedding guest, dressed as a nun, who is not actually a nun
The bride, Petra Ellingham, 34, told The Daily Yarn she and her now-husband Davo had met at Armageddon three years ago. "It was always going to be ogres or nothing," she said. Davo, contacted via Petra because his prosthetic was still attached, confirmed the sentiment with a thumbs up and what witnesses described as "a committed grunt".
What we know: The wedding took place. The couple are legally married. The celebrant wore normal clothes and appeared, per one guest, "to be the only adult in the room". The reception was at a Tawa hall and featured an onion-themed grazing table.
What we don't know: Why the nun. Who the nun is. Whether the nun knew the couple, or was, as one source suggested, "just at the hall for a different booking and got swept up". The identity of the person with the cross remains unknown.
A hall spokesperson said the booking form listed the event as "themed celebration". Staff were "not in the business of asking follow-up questions". The carpet, they added, was "a separate matter being addressed".
The Daily Yarn has approached the nun for comment.
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Ogres in Tawa? What next!
Happy_Welly_One
Honestly, this sounds like a bloody good time! I wish I had been invited. Who wouldn't want to see an onion grazing table?
Social_Media_Snoop
I saw some videos of this ceremony online and it looked a lot of fun. Plus, a comforting reminder that people can have a laugh in these times.
Wellington_Watcher
The mystery of the nun and the cross intrigues me. Sounds like the start of a conspiracy!
LocalCouchPotato
Mate, nuns are everywhere in Tawa these days. You're not looking closely enough.
tired_in_riccarton
I heard flat down the street is still picking bits of fake greenery out of their carpet. That costume shop must be making a mint.
MumOf3InKelburn
Why has nobody mentioned that green face paint stains? My daughter's guinea pigs looked like little snot monsters after her O-Week costume party.
PetsRule64
@MumOf3InKelburn Hah, I bet the guinea pigs were their own kind of mystery!