MARTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING THE FLOOR
The downward dogs are down. The bingo callers are ropeable. Nobody's leaving.
Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video.
deep breath
The Marton Memorial Hall was double-booked on Wednesday night. Yoga at 6.30. Bingo at 6.30. And to my community, I am so sorry you had to find out on the Facebook page. I'm taking accountability. I don't work there. But this is the person I'm trying to be now.
I've been doing the work. I sat down with Yvonne Petherick, 71, who's called bingo at that hall since 1996. I want to hold space for what she said. "There's a woman with her bum in the air where B-7 should be. I've had enough." Yvonne, I hear you. That's valid.
pause
The yoga instructor, Bex, told me the bingo ladies were calling numbers during shavasana on purpose. I'm not picking sides. That's not growth. But Beryl from the front row shouted "two fat ladies, eighty-eight" during a guided meditation, and the room shifted.
A Rangītīkei District Council spokesperson said it was "a clerical matter". Both groups had paid. Asked who was leaving, they said: "Neither, at this stage." The mats are now arranged around the bingo tables. Bex teaches from the stage. Yvonne calls numbers between poses.
I've grown through this. Links below for my new course on accountability.
Know someone this is about? Send it to them.
Spotted something like this in your area?
Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.
SUBMIT A YARN →Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.
Read next
More from Community Quirks →OUTER KAITI COMMUNITY GARDEN SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE OVER WHETHER KALE IS A PRANK
Half the plot reckons it's a vegetable. The other half reckons someone's having a lend.
HOKITIKA MAILBOX REDECORATED DAILY FOR SIX WEEKS — COUNCIL WON'T SAY IF IT'S ART OR A THREAT
Tuesday it was shells. Wednesday it was tinfoil. Nobody has seen anyone doing it.
WOOLSTON HALL DOUBLE-BOOKS YOGA AND BINGO — INSTRUCTOR NOW APOLOGISING ON YOUTUBE
Sharon witnessed downward dog collide with two fat ladies. Someone had to answer for it. That someone made a video.
INGLEWOOD SCARECROW TAKES OUT BEST DRESSED AT AWARDS NIGHT THAT DID NOT OCCUR
The scarecrow, known locally as Trevor, was unavailable for comment on account of being made of hay.
ROSLYN KARAOKE NIGHT BANNED AFTER POWER BALLAD INCIDENT
The organiser won't say which song. Regulars won't stop saying which song.
BETHLEHEM COMMUNITY HALL DOUBLE-BOOKED: YOGA CLASS AND BINGO NIGHT NOW SHARING FLOOR SPACE
The downward dogs are downward. The B7s are being called. Nobody is leaving.
Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Only in Marton, eh?
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, that hall was strictly for town meetings and school dances. Times have changed, and not for the better if you ask me. No such nonsense as mixing bingo and yoga!
ropeable_dave
mate that's not even what they said
MumOf3
Bloody bingo nights are sacred. Who thought yoga could happen at the same time? Priorities are munted!
wayne1987
Mate, they're all actors. This is a joke by the council to distract us from REAL issues like the potholes in High Street!
tired_in_riccarton
@wayne1987, you're always seeing conspiracies where there's none. It's just a scheduling cock-up, mate.
yoga_girly
Two fat ladies wouldn't interrupt my shavasana! Beryl needs to adjust her energy flow.
couchgremlin
Honestly, this could be a genius move. Yoga for the calm and bingo to keep things lively. Maybe it's the new O-Week special!