KARORI STREET AT WAR OVER MISSING GARDEN HOSE
Two factions, one cul-de-sac, zero hose. Police describe the situation as 'ongoing and frankly embarrassing'.
A green garden hose, last seen attached to an outdoor tap on Standen Street in Karori, has been reported stolen. Residents are now openly calling it 'sides'.
The complainant, Lorraine Beddoe, 71, said the hose had been in service since 2014 and was 'practically family'. She has named three suspects on the street. She has evidence against none of them. She is now watering her hydrangeas with a bucket 'as a statement'.
The accused faction, led by Mrs Caitlin Verrall at number 14, denies any involvement and has produced their own hose for inspection. 'It's blue,' Verrall told The Daily Yarn. 'Ours has always been blue. Lorraine knows it's blue. This is a witch hunt and she's the one with the matches.'
A neighbourhood WhatsApp group, set up in 2021 for earthquake prep, has fractured into two separate groups. A third splinter group has formed around a woman at number 22 who 'just wants everyone to calm down' and is therefore trusted by no-one.
This correspondent attended the scene. The tap in question shows clear signs of recent disconnection. My mate at the station confirms that under the Summary Offences Act, theft is theft. A POI has been identified but will not be named as she is 9 and was, per her mother, 'playing firefighters'.
The hose remains missing. Mrs Beddoe is watching the street from her front window with a thermos and a notebook. The hydrangeas look rough.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Never trust anyone with a blue hose, honestly. My neighbour had one and they were always a bit dodgy. Good on Lorraine for standing her ground!
BarryBungalow
@Trev_Hornby Isn't it more suspicious that Lorraine didn't have her hose chained up? Rookie mistake.
Margaret_F
This whole thing reminds me of when we used to have neighbourhood watch in Karori. Back in the day, folks didn't need WhatsApp to know who was nicking what. We just kept an eye out and sorted it over a cuppa.
ropeable_dave
Honestly, a WhatsApp group having a fight over a hose? Can't they just go buy a new one from Mitre 10? This makes my flat’s internet outage last week look insignificant.
couchgremlin
Lol
Sandra McKenzie
Standen Street folks, you realise there's bigger issues in the world, right? Mrs Beddoe should just accept the hose is gone and move on. She's been watching too many detective shows!
Still_Thirsty_Paraparaumu
What are the hydrangeas supposed to do without water, perform a rain dance? This is what happens when the government ignores water shortages for years.