BOTANY UTE HOSTS ROOFTOP SAUSAGE SIZZLE, INSPECTOR ARRIVES MID-ONION
The Hilux is loaded, the gas bottle is on, and the building consent is theoretical.
A rooftop sausage sizzle staged on top of a Hilux in a Botany carpark went for two hours on Saturday before an Auckland Council building inspector turned up, took one look, and asked whose gas bottle it was.
The ute belongs to Mikaere Toma, a Flat Bush sparky who reckons he'd been meaning to do it for months. "Roof racks were sitting there doing fuck all, mate. Chucked the BBQ up, chucked a chilly bin up, chucked me cousin up. Away we went."
By midday there were fourteen blokes in hi-vis queuing at the back of the tray, one bloke on the roof flipping onions with a paint scraper, and a Warehouse pop-up gazebo bungeed to the tow bar. A bloke from the panelbeaters two doors down brought bread. Nobody brought sauce, which is being treated as the real crime.
The inspector, who Mikaere described only as "some clipboard cunt from council — and I mean that with love, he was alright actually", asked whether the gas bottle was secured. Mikaere said it was secured with "a ratchet strap and good intentions". The inspector wrote something down and left. He came back ten minutes later for a sausage.
An Auckland Council spokesperson told The Daily Yarn that rooftop cooking on private vehicles was "not explicitly covered" under the current bylaws but was "strongly discouraged, particularly with LPG". Asked whether the inspector had paid the gold coin, the spokesperson did not respond.
Mikaere is doing it again next Saturday, but on his mate's Ranger because the Hilux is booked for a job in Manurewa. That job, he confirmed, will be done Tuesday.
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Reader Letters
Trev_Hornby
Absolute legend! Turning a ute into a sausage sizzle is peak Kiwi ingenuity. I reckon Mikaere's onto something here - maybe even a new trend. Loving the casual council encounter. That's classic New Zealand, aye? Can't wait to see if it'll catch on.
ConcernedCitizen
@Trev_Hornby Yeah, Kiwi ingenuity until someone gets hurt. This kind of piss-taking is why some of us can't have nice things. Hope the council doesn't crack down too hard next time because of a few laughs.
sauceorriot
Crazy stuff. But I'm more concerned about the lack of sauce. A sausage without sauce is like fish without chips! What were they thinking? If they're doing it again next week, someone better bring the Wattie's!
couchgremlin
Lol.
FionaThePedant
Using a paint scraper to flip onions is an outrage. That's not Aussie BBQ standards! Gotta have a proper barbeque spatula, otherwise the onions are munted.
TradieTom
@FionaThePedant Mate, it's the thought that counts here, not the utensils. Let's not get too precious about rooftop barbeques!
Garry (Halswell)
When I was young, barbeques had character. We'd use those old charcoal grills and there's no way we'd stick them on car rooftops, that's for sure. Things were simpler then, and we didn't need council inspectors writing things down. If anything got munted, we'd just patch it up with duct tape and a bit of number-eight wire.
EmmaSafetyFirst
Honestly, if you don't root your gas bottle properly you're asking for trouble. Lucky that 'clipboards' decided to enjoy the sausage rather than throwing the book at them. It's a bit of a piss-take from the council to act so chill about LPG safety though.
PolicyPundit
The irony of a council inspector condoning unconsented barbeques by having a sausage is not lost on me. Our rates are sky high for them to browse BBQs! Realised Auckland was rooted when inspectors started mingling at stunts like this.