Switch labels in Sawyers Bay flat say 'maybe', pass inspection
Second sparky called in to sort it looked at the board for twenty minutes, put his pen away, and said the first bloke was right.
Tradie Tales
Utes, smoko, scaffolding that outlasts the building, and jobs that'll be done Tuesday. Every Tradie Tales yarn we have filed, newest first — 57 stories, none of them true.
Outer Kaiti joiner asked for kitchen "like on telly, but more beige" — sample count now at 31
The clients are from Hamilton East. This correspondent notes this without further comment, then comments further.
Westshore roofers down tools every time a plane goes over — "safety", apparently
The site is about 900 metres from the Hawke's Bay Airport runway. The roof has been "nearly done" since Labour Weekend.
Brockville retaining wall held up by no. 8 wire, four fence posts and one bloke's good feeling
The hill is moving. The wall is moving with it. The builder says that's the design.
Hokitika builder declares deck "finished except for the finishing" — finishing includes the stairs
The invoice arrived in full. The stairs did not.
Ohauiti deck job 'done Tuesday' enters third calendar year, Auckland sparky blames 'traffic'
The homeowner has since installed a second kitchen. The deck is still four joists and a promise.
Fitzroy builder insists fist-sized hole in roof is "ventilation, bro"
Homeowner points at the sky through her ceiling. Builder calls it a feature.
Auckland apprentice, 17, spent six hours looking for tartan paint — lads on site 'genuinely impressed'
He also came back with a receipt for a long weight from Bunnings Manukau. Staff say he waited quietly for four hours.
Royal commission finds 47 vb cans entombed in Islington ceiling, no one fucken owning up
The Commission sat for six days. The cans sat for thirty-seven years.
Morningside scaffolding crew adds $180 'attitude adjustment' line to invoice
The homeowner queried it. The foreman explained. She's still queried.
Islington chippie's toolbox nicked — sausage sizzle raises $43 and a loaf of budget bread
The Mitre 10 carpark fundraiser had a queue of six and an argument about onion placement.
Auckland builder on Opoho rebuild names every nail, downs tools until greeted properly
The framing nails are called Terrence. All of them. There are 4,000.
Island Bay chippie's apology video for lost toolbox runs 14 minutes, includes course plug
Guys. The toolbox is gone. The sausage sizzle raised $340. The course is $89.
Ellerslie pergola passes council inspection, fails basic laws of physics
Consented, signed off, and leaning 14 degrees closer to the neighbour's spa pool than it was Monday.
Burnside deck job 'done Tuesday' enters third year, piles still in ute
The homeowner has aged. The Auckland sparky's mate has not been seen since March 2023.
Beerescourt deck built 'for entertaining' too narrow for a single chair
Mate of mine reckons the chippie measured it with a pie in one hand.
Eltham deck built "for entertaining" too narrow for a single folding chair
Builder insists the measurements are correct. The chair insists otherwise.
Carterton pergola passes council inspection, fails every other test known to science
The consent is in order. The posts are not.
Mosgiel pergola passes council inspection, fails gravity by lunchtime
Consent stamped Tuesday. Structure horizontal Wednesday. Owner blames the nor'wester. Physics blames the builder.
Island Bay deck promised 'Tuesday' now entering third year of tuesdays
The Auckland chippie who took the job in 2022 has since had two kids and one divorce.