GLADSTONE CEILING CAVITY YIELDS 47 VB CANS AND ZERO INSULATION
The previous owner's R-value was, technically, beer.
An insulation crew working on a weatherboard place in Gladstone pulled down the manhole cover on Tuesday. Inside they found 47 empty VB cans, a flattened Port Royal packet, and no insulation at all.
The job was booked under Warmer Kiwi Homes. The crew assumed they'd be topping up what was there. Site lead Damo Whareki, who runs a two-man outfit out of Waikiwi, said that assumption was generous. "Bloke who lived here was running the ceiling as a chillybin. Cans were stacked. Stacked, mate. Someone took the time."
The homeowner bought the place six months ago and asked to be identified only as "the mug who paid for it". She said she'd been wondering why the lounge was eight degrees in May. "Agent said good bones. Good bones my arse. Good bones don't drink VB."
Damo's offsider, a good cunt named Riggsy, counted the cans twice for the insurance photos. He also found a 1987 TAB docket wedged between two of them. "Trifecta at Wingatui. Didn't come in. Reckon that's why he started drinking up there."
A spokesperson for the installer said the cavity would be cleared and insulated by Thursday, pending "removal of the heritage layer". Southland's overnight low this week was minus four.
The cans are going to the Gladstone bowling club, who've indicated they'll take anything that isn't nailed down.
The job was booked under Warmer Kiwi Homes. The crew assumed they'd be topping up what was there. Site lead Damo Whareki, who runs a two-man outfit out of Waikiwi, said that assumption was generous. "Bloke who lived here was running the ceiling as a chillybin. Cans were stacked. Stacked, mate. Someone took the time."
The homeowner bought the place six months ago and asked to be identified only as "the mug who paid for it". She said she'd been wondering why the lounge was eight degrees in May. "Agent said good bones. Good bones my arse. Good bones don't drink VB."
Damo's offsider, a good cunt named Riggsy, counted the cans twice for the insurance photos. He also found a 1987 TAB docket wedged between two of them. "Trifecta at Wingatui. Didn't come in. Reckon that's why he started drinking up there."
A spokesperson for the installer said the cavity would be cleared and insulated by Thursday, pending "removal of the heritage layer". Southland's overnight low this week was minus four.
The cans are going to the Gladstone bowling club, who've indicated they'll take anything that isn't nailed down.