ISLAND BAY CHIPPIE'S APOLOGY VIDEO FOR LOST TOOLBOX RUNS 14 MINUTES, INCLUDES COURSE PLUG

Guys. Guys. I never thought I'd have to make this video. deep breath So as some of you know, my toolbox got lifted off the back of the ute on The Parade last Thursday. Seven years of Makita. Gone. And I've been doing a lot of thinking.

The chippie is Wiremu Cotterill, 34, of Island Bay. He filed the theft with police on Friday morning and had posted a 14-minute video to his 2,300 followers by lunchtime. "To my community," he says at the 3-minute mark, "I am so sorry I let you down by not locking the canopy. That's on me. That's fully on me."

A sausage sizzle outside the Island Bay New World on Saturday raised $340 toward replacement gear. Mates on site called it "a good effort but the drop saw alone was twelve hundred." Fellow chippie Dazza Poutini, quoted between onions, said: "Wiremu's a good cunt but this video's un-fucking-watchable. He's crying about a nail gun for four minutes. Just fill the insurance form, bro."

another deep breath At the 9-minute mark, Cotterill says he's been "doing the work" and "growing as a tradesman", then pivots to a paid module called Toolbox Accountability: A Framework. A sergeant at Wellington Central confirmed the theft was "a standard sneak-lift, mate, happens twice a week on The Parade." No framework required. Just a padlock.

Sausage sizzle organiser Manaia, the barista from the good place on Reef Street — you know the one, she does the oat flat white with the little heart, she's an ANGEL!! — told The Daily Yarn she hadn't watched the full video. "I skipped to the fundraiser bit!! Is he okay?? He seems like he's going through it!!"

As of Sunday the toolbox is still missing and the canopy is still unlocked. The pinned comment on the video reads: "links below for my new course on accountability. First 50 get 20% off with code SORRY."