MOSGIEL PERGOLA PASSES COUNCIL INSPECTION, FAILS BASIC LAWS OF GRAVITY
The consent's in a drawer. The pergola's in the neighbour's hedge.
A pergola in Mosgiel, signed off by Dunedin City Council on Thursday, began leaning south by Sunday lunchtime. It is now at what one engineer called "a fucking suggestion of an angle".
The structure went up behind a Gladstone Road North property. It was inspected, stamped, and approved. By Monday the western post had shifted 40 centimetres off plumb. The cross-beam was wearing the washing line. The tui feeder was on the lawn.
Owner Lorraine Petchey, 71, said she'd had doubts at the pour. "Bloke turned up with two bags of Holcim and a vape. Didn't bring a level. Said his eye was the level. Nothing we'd have put up with in 1974."
The builder, contacted at a pie warmer in Mosgiel, said the pergola was "settling, mate, they all do that". He'd be back Tuesday to prop it. Asked which Tuesday, he said "the dry one". Asked about the sign-off, he said the inspector was "a good cunt" who "knew a pergola when he saw one".
A council spokesperson confirmed the structure passed inspection on the documents provided. The documents "did not, at the time, include a southerly". Re-inspection was "a matter for the homeowner and the builder".
Lorraine has moved the outdoor setting indoors. She is watching from the kitchen window. It moved again during this interview.
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Reader Letters
Garry (Halswell)
Back in my day, a pergola wouldn't move unless you'd had a few too many Speights! We built things to last, not to waltz around the garden.
mosgiel_trade_guru
Lol. Classic Mosgiel. The builder's probably the same guy who 'fixed' my driveway. Every time it rains, it's like kayaking down a bloody rapid.
Margaret_F
The council's involved, surprise surprise. They'll pass anything as long as they can stamp some paperwork and get their precious inspection fee.
Gordon_Mosgiel
Mate, who's Lorraine's builder? Must be the same bloke who tried to put a fence in for me. Took one look, said 'gravity's an opinion'.