The Daily Yarn
WEDNESDAY, 27 MAY 2026 · National Edition · Aotearoa's Most Reliable Unreliable News
Weather Watch

HAMILTON EAST PICNIC RELOCATED TO LOUNGE, THERMOSES NOW SEATED BY ALLEGIANCE

What began as a riverside gathering has become a silent standoff over who brought the better flask.

A Hamilton East picnic, planned for the riverbank off Memorial Park, was moved indoors on Sunday after a light Waikato drizzle settled in for the afternoon.

Host Lorraine Pewhairangi, 64, said she'd spent two days marinating chicken and another half-day ironing a tablecloth she'd inherited from her mother. "We got to the river, looked at the sky, looked at each other, and turned around. Bugger that for a lark."

The move to Lorraine's lounge has gone less than smoothly. Six thermoses were placed on the coffee table. Within ten minutes guests had arranged them by owner, with Maureen's tartan flask pointedly facing away from Glenda's stainless one. "Maureen reckons her tea's hotter," one guest whispered. "Glenda reckons Maureen's tea tastes like the thermos."

Reminds this reporter of a Sunday in 1974, when a Founders Theatre picnic was shifted into the foyer. Mrs Tindall didn't speak to Mrs Hooper for a year over a disputed scone.

A MetService spokesperson described Sunday's weather as "a light shower, really". Lorraine called that "the sort of comment that gets you uninvited". Nobody has touched the egg sandwiches.

Maureen left at 3.15pm with her thermos and, according to Glenda, "a face on her". The tablecloth is going back in the drawer.
Report / Takedown
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