The Daily Yarn
WEDNESDAY, 27 MAY 2026 · National Edition · Aotearoa's Most Reliable Unreliable News
Weather Watch

MOSGIEL BLOKE RECKONS THE WIND HAS IT IN FOR HIM SPECIFICALLY

Wheelie bin last seen heading for Outram at pace. Owner not invited.

A Mosgiel man has told police the southerly is conducting a targeted campaign against him, citing four incidents this month involving his hat, his recycling, and a bit of trellis.

Roydon Affleck, 58, of Gladstone Road North, said his neighbour's bin had not moved in weeks. His own bin had been to Allanton. "It knows which one's mine," Mr Affleck told this reporter. "Don't tell me it doesn't."

Pauline Garrick, 71, from two doors down, said she had watched Mr Affleck chase the bin down the road on Tuesday in his dressing gown. "Bin was doing about forty. Roydon was doing about six. No contest."

MetService said wind does not hold grudges. A spokesperson conceded Mosgiel "sits in a bit of a funnel" and that, on the balance of probabilities, vendettas could not be formally ruled out.

The bin was later recovered in Outram by a member of the public, who has declined to return it. He told this reporter "finders keepers" was, in his understanding, the law. My mate at the station reckons the trellis is in Milton.
Report / Takedown
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