ROYAL COMMISSION FINDS TARADALE SNOW PANIC WAS BASED ON "A BLOKE'S HUNCH"
After 14 months and $2.3 million, the Commission has determined it did not, in fact, snow.
The Royal Commission of Inquiry into the Taradale Snow Event of Winter 2024 has today delivered its final report. The Commissioner concluded, on the balance of probabilities, that no snow fell in Taradale. Nor has any snow fallen there within living memory. The 72-hour panic was, in the Commissioner's words, "largely vibes-based".
Terms of Reference required examination of four matters. First, the origin of the forecast. Second, the conduct of Pak'nSave Taradale during the bread-and-milk surge. Third, whether Napier City Council acted with reasonable diligence in gritting a suburb 12 metres above sea level. Fourth, the role of a Facebook post by one Trevor Beazley of Greenmeadows.
The Commission heard evidence from 47 witnesses. Among them: three MetService forecasters, the manager of Taradale New World, and a woman who bought 14 loaves of vogel's "just in case". Mr Beazley told the Commission he had "felt it in his knee". Under cross-examination, he conceded his knee held no meteorological qualification.
Finding 8 is damning of Napier City Council, which grit-trucked Gloucester Street on the strength of a single tweet. Finding 12 notes the closest recorded snowfall to Taradale occurred in Taihape in 1939. Taihape, the Commission observed, is not Taradale. Recommendation 14 proposes any future snow forecast for the Hawke's Bay be verified by "at least two people looking out a window".
A Commission spokesperson, contacted in Rotorua where the report was tabled for reasons no-one could explain, said the findings were "comprehensive". The sulphur smell in the room was, they added, "not related". Pressed on the $2.3 million cost, the spokesperson called it "good value, considering".
Mr Beazley will not appeal. His knee is now forecasting a light frost for Havelock North on Thursday.
Know someone this is about? Send it to them.
Reader Letters
couchgremlin
Lol, classic Beazley vibes.
Garry (Halswell)
I can't believe they spent $2.3 million to find out that a bloke's knee was rubbish at predicting the weather. Back in my day, we just looked outside before panicking. It's clear evidence the country's gone soft.
TwitterTrev
Mate, back in your day they didn't have Twitter to panic over. Different times, Garry!
SympathSandra
Imagine being the MetService forecaster who got sidelined by Trevor Beazley's knee. There must be more to this story, otherwise what are we doing with science?
ConcernedKiwi123
The Government’s always wasting money! $2.3 million for this nonsense and meanwhile, real issues like housing go ignored. They're all tarred with the same brush, aren't they?
TamaraJokesALot
Anyone else think it's hilarious that Pak'nSave had a bread-and-milk rush because of an imaginary snowstorm? Talk about preppers gone wild!
NZerWithTwoCents
@TamaraJokesALot At least they weren’t hoarding toilet paper this time around!
TinfoilHatTyler
I was waiting for a conspiracy about the sulphur smell in Rotorua. Didn't disappoint!
NostalgicNancy
The Commission could've just checked with a couple of grandmas before spending millions. They're better at predicting weather anyway!
SmirkingSam
I doubt Trevor's knee could even forecast if it was going to rain tomorrow, let alone snow! What a yarn.
Spotted something like this in your area?
Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.
SUBMIT A YARN →Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.