Jogger in Cashmere stirs online frenzy with unexpected route artwork

A Cashmere man's Sunday morning jog has become the most celebrated piece of accidental art the suburb has seen in some time, after his GPS tracker rendered his route as an unmistakable, anatomically committed penis.

The runner, Hamish Petherick, 34, insists he was simply 'following the contours of the hill' and had no idea what his Strava had drawn until his phone began buzzing with notifications. By Sunday evening the route had attracted 312 kudos, which is 311 more than his previous best and, according to my own enquiries, more than the Cashmere Primary gala managed for its entire bake sale.

'I genuinely did not see it coming,' Petherick told The Daily Yarn, which I find difficult to believe given he ran the shape of it for forty-eight minutes. 'I just wanted a bit of fresh air. Then my mate Dools rang and said congratulations.'

A neighbour, Glenys Tukerangi, said she'd noticed him 'going up and down the same wee cul-de-sac about four times' and had thought he was casing the street. 'I was about to ring someone. Turns out he was doing the, you know. The end bit.' Gerald, my late husband, would have called this what it is, which was a grown man with too much time and a phone he didn't understand.

Strava has not removed the route. A spokesperson said the platform 'celebrates creative expression', which is the sort of thing my son's new girlfriend would say, and she's a vegan.

Petherick is reportedly planning a longer route next weekend. He has not specified the shape.