Satire — not real news Submit a yarn
The Daily Yarn

Aotearoa's finest fabricated news

Council Chaos

BROMLEY WIDOW GETS THREE CONTRADICTORY RECYCLING LETTERS FROM SAME COUNCIL IN ONE WEEK

One says yellow bin Tuesday. One says fortnightly. The third wants the bin back.

A Bromley household has received three separate letters from Christchurch City Council in nine days, each giving different instructions about the yellow bin. One is signed by a person the council now says doesn't work there.

Homeowner Maeve Sutcliffe, 71, laid the letters out on her kitchen table like exhibits at an inquest. The first, dated the 4th, said yellow bin was moving to Tuesdays. The second, dated the 7th, said it was now fortnightly. The third, dated the 11th, told her to return the bin to a depot or cop a $90 charge.

"I haven't shifted a wheelie bin since Gerald died," Sutcliffe said. "That was 2009. I rang the number on letter two. Got the number on letter three. He told me to ring letter one. Letter one rings out."

Neighbour Wiremu Clarke said he'd had two of the same letters but not the third, and was "operating on a hunch". He put his yellow bin out Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday last week. It was emptied on none of them.

A Christchurch City Council spokesperson said the letters were a "transition communication" and residents should "refer to the most recent correspondence". Asked how anyone was meant to tell which was most recent, the spokesperson did not answer. Asked about the signatory of letter three, one "K. Mahoney, Waste Solutions", the spokesperson confirmed no such person was on staff.

Reminds me of the rates notices in '74, except back then they only stuffed it up once per envelope. Sutcliffe's yellow bin remains on the kerb, containing one rinsed jar and a letter.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Spotted something like this in your area?

Send us a photo and a sentence. We'll write the article.

SUBMIT A YARN →

Free. Anonymous if you want. Takes 60 seconds.

Reader Letters

Trev_Hornby

Bloody council strikes again.

Annie_Richmond

Honestly, I can't say I'm surprised. Council's a mess! In my area, they still haven't figured out the new rates from last year. I'm starting to think their whole system's rooted. Good on Maeve for calling them out.

wayne1987

This is a ridiculous piss-take! How hard is it to get recycling right? Plus, K. Mahoney exists purely in the imaginative realms. I'm starting to think someone in council's just taking the mickey.

bettyfrombromley

You reckon they'll sort it before the next rates notice? Or will it be like those notices in '74?

Garry (Halswell)

I remember rates confusion in '68. That fiasco lasted months and no one got any answers. We had the same blokes running around like headless chooks back then. Some things never change!

Sandra McKenzie

Garry, wasn't that the year they lost half the rates payments on a bus? Classic Christchurch Council.

CouchPotatoPete

Mate, this doesn't even hold a candle to what's going on with transport communications in Auckland. Still, sending Maeve round the twist is beyond the pale.

councilsceptic45

Sounds like a typical case of left hand not talking to the right at the council. Communication's absolute bollocks.

Know someone this is about? Send it to them.

Report / Takedown

Like this yarn?

Get the best one every morning.

SATIRE — Everything on this site is fabricated for entertainment. Not real news.